Ahem, here I am after this blog having being usurped by Gracie, the Dronesville’s dog. My nerd cronies have been booing like after their favorite German football club lost the recent Euro cup and some even had the audacity to suggest I change my blog’s name to “Gracie the nerd dog”, so the dog gets the prominent position for after all she has been writing the blog.
I wake with a triple headache. First I remember the boss instructing that I bring Gracie the dog along to our treasure hunting expedition. Secondly, I cannot locate Gracie. Thirdly I cannot locate the drone. What more can a decent normal nerd ask? All three mysteries land on me at one go, as if my new profession overnight becomes multitasking investigating sleuth. The combination of the problems seems too good to be true. Haha, I somewhat pride myself on cracking multiple puzzles. Surely this has something to do with Gracie. Oh, I know all about her being able to eavesdrop on human conversation for sometime ever since she frequented the Hyperloop place and inadvertently put herself under the influence of a gamma ray and transmuted. shall I say good riddance to her? Shall I simply tell the boss as she has run off he might as well call the trip off? Or shall I go look for her so I won’t get into further trouble with (or rather under the wrath of) the boss? Maybe I simply go back to sleep and pray that this is only a nightmare…
I don’t really have any option but to choose to go look for Gracie because I don’t want a double dose of wrath, one from the boss and one from the grand-aunt (also my former English teacher). But honestly I do have some sentiment for Gracie for she has been a good and faithful guard dog. What if she falls into unscrupulous criminal hand? I shudder at the thought of this possibility. I start by asking pertinent questions.
Why has she run off? Obviously it is because she doesn’t want to go treasure hunting with human. Where can she run to? She has to go to her doggie friends for help. Who are her friends? There are no other dogs in Dronesville. Where can a secret hideout be if there is indeed a doggie friend to take her in? I know practically all the normal Dronesville’s residential houses and the residents being related to them one way or another, a whole bunch of retirees from the academic professions who are now aiming to become nerds in modern and up to date technology. Being a young up to date tech-know nerd in their view, I am invited to their virtual club meetings as an honorary advisor.
There is only one place I don’t know. The Hyper-loop building. I know of it superficially. They operate in top secret and no outsiders are allowed inside. I know they keep a cat. Surely our Gracie does not make friend with a cat? What if in her desperation she tries to sneak into that place and gets caught by the cat? I shudder again. Poor Gracie. She will be no match against that giant cat. I make up my mind. I shall have no what-if. I shall investigate no matter what comes and get the facts.
So that is what happens as illustrated in the photo-picture today. You can see a nerd dressed in proper business suit just to look respectable standing on the edge of a ladder peeping into someone else’s lovely sunny garden…and what happens next is I feel the back of my head being hit by a blunt object and I fall…(To be continued)
“Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.” (Agatha Christie, Death on the Nile). Like I said in my previous blog about me being able to speak and tech-know, I go into hideout by joining my robot dog friend Robby in the hyperloop. By now everyone should know how loyal we dog are to our human masters. “The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog.” (M.K. Clinton, The Returns).
The hyperloop place is cluttered with all sorts of machines and being a miniature dog I can slip in without being noticed. It is three in the morning and everyone is sound asleep. They do not keep a dog but there is a tiny pet entrance at the back kitchen for a cat. Yes, there is a cat there. Her name is Meanie (aka Goliath) the Plop. The drone carries me over the wall smoothly. As I approach the cat entrance I can smell the Plop. But I am not afraid. “What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” Dwight D. Eisenhower (34th President of the United States). Like my master, I am oozing oily quotes/misquotes from every pore and oil myself to the floor. (My Fair Lady) My master has done a good job daily drumming them into his and my head through repetitions during meal time.
I enter the house without a sound. But the Plop seems waiting for me. “What have we here? Haha a miserable intruder!” She hisses. She is huge for a cat. Sleek and huge. Grossly overweight. “My, a miniature dog! What is that on your back? Hand it over!” Her size is colossal. She stands up and arches her back, opening her menacing mouth, sticking out a blood red tongue. Her claws are long and sharp. Shifting into a war pose she blocks my way. What else can an otherwise peace loving decent dog do in this situation?
I won’t describe the Dronesville brave (dog) and the Goliath Plop of a cat fight scene. it is not pretty. Losing is not my game so eventually I signal my companion brave (drone) to land on her head. She is shocked beyond words. The crash landing of the drone knocks her out. By then Robby has appeared and leads us two braves (dog and drone) through a dark tunnel to his hideout. I spend the rest of the night and many nights thereafter licking my wounds. I shall not rejoin my master until I am whole again.
I must admit I do plop myself down on the hard tiled floor and sulk for sometime. Then I cheer up. Robby the robot dog seems trustworthy. He is good in finding food too (for me of course). The drone is my assurance. He is like a security blanket a toddler must carry around. I need his mobility and later communication with my master who probably will be frantic when he discovers that I am missing. Hahaha, my turn to laugh and congratulate myself for my ingenious scheme to help my master, despite the Plop’s nasty interval. My human master will be proud of me. Tomorrow will be a brighter day! (Misquoting Gone with the Wind). (To be continued)
It is time a self-respecting dog speaks his or her own view. By now you know i am the dog, Gracie. This is the dog ranting. LOL. i have a view too. i overheard the conversation between the boss and my very kind caretaker master, a young tech-know nerd. i heard my fate being decided by the humans (or rather one total stranger whom my master calls boss). Ahem, it is rather unfair. i am here happily minding my own business in Dronesville and keeping my own territory protected, and suddenly come this English lord who suggests i leave and trot round the globe with my master to seek some foolish worthless treasure! What treasure? To me, treasure means doggie treats with beef or chicken flavors and the illusive flying creatures with wings in the park. No, i am not going anywhere!
Yet, on second thought, i have been having this dream about a foreign golden hair glamorous dog wearing pretty red wear and looking real smart and glamorous. What do you think? Can’t we ordinary dogs have dreams of grandeur? i once heard someone said that opportunity is like a horse flying by and you just have to be ready to grab its tail and fly with it. Hmmm i am ready to grab this flying tail or not? Fame and fortune. Not bad. To become rare or not? That is the question. It is hard for a dog to keep up with the dog jones too. This is a rare opportunity for me to do something with my ordinary life. Maybe i get to know the world beyond Dogsville, oops, i mean Dronesville. Maybe i get to visit places with exotic flavored doggie food and lots of rare flying creatures with wings and catch some!
Glamour aside. The truth is, what will I not do for my human master who has taken care of me so well? No, I am not going to let him down. Why? i suspect he doesn’t have any choice. Neither do i.
That settles it. My decision is made. i am going to run away before the night is over. The blame will be on me and not my master. Being steeped in this tech-know community i am sort of a tech-know dog too. i know where i can go. LOL. (To be continued)
Today I become a detective. I am going to chase after the two elusive millennial nerds who are presumably evading the rest of the community. The majority of the residents are in their 65-85. Millennials are the rare handful. In fact, I suspect I am the only one as I have never met the other two who are rumored to be staying somewhere inside these few blocks of exclusive houses surrounding a little park. Since I am the only young nerd found/trapped in the open (unlike the other two apparently in hiding) for the whole community to access, I have become the common helper. I am therefore stuck with the after midnight drone patrol in my unofficial job specification for an indefinite period until I ferret out the other two millennial nerds if they do exist.
I decide to deploy all my Ethan Hunt’s skills and expertise to flush out the two young nerds from their chill out holes. Unlike Ethan Hunt of Mission Impossible I do not have access to official classified information. What shall I do? I have searched the Facebook for likely nearby residents in vain. They do not use land line and the phone book is of no use to me. Hmmm here is what I shall do:
I shall set the drone to fly low and attract their attention tonight. If I were one of them what shall I do if I detect the drone? What is a millennial like? Here is a list of negative stereotype characteristics from the internet:
1. Millennials grew up with instant access to the Internet, and demand instant gratification and immediate reward for their efforts.
2. Some Millennials need to be reassured by receiving recognition and rewards.
3. Some Millennials may become frustrated and may decide to quit before achieving.
4. The negative stereotype of being entitled and unwilling to work.
The drone must fulfill the following conditions: give instant gratification and reward effortlessly for the receivers. The millennials like something innovative, funny, and original.
I have my Plan-B robot which can help the drone to do all that. So I inform all senior residents to ignore the drone tonight no matter what happens.
My plan is simple and easy to execute: I shall set the drone to fly low and near everyone’s window with lights-on. The robot will be dangled beneath the drone and projects a comical virtual show complete with simulated laser beams, song and music when it detects a human audience. The drone will take a photo of the person who responds and looks out of his window, and also take a picture of the front of his house with its number. The drone will drop a self-adhesive Pokémon Go gift packet onto the window sill too to lure the person to open his window and retrieve the packet.
Armed with this fantastic fail-proof plan I congratulate myself and feel as elated as though I have already bagged the two poor nerds who will henceforth replace me in my after-midnight drone patrol. (To be continued)
What I fear has come to pass. At 8am this Saturday morning I hear a door bell ringing like someone’s house is on fire. When I realize it is my doorbell I have to get up from bed and entertain whoever at the gate. Two identical men in black suit. They also wear bowler hats like the twin brothers Thompson and Thompson of TinTin fame. They represent the government secret service authority and want to question me what the parcel labelled Dronexit#1 contains. It is probably due to a leak through the social spy drone which hovers over my window a couple of times.
“What is in that box?” One man asks.
“Huh?” I blink a few times to make sure I am not having a nightmare.
The next man in black repeats his question, “To be precise, what is in that box that labels Dronexit#1?”
“Huh?” I open my mouth and gulp lungfuls of air, as if I am choking.
“I mean, what is in that box your grand aunt handed to you for safe keeping?” The first man asks.
Hundreds of possible answers race through my mind like flash cards my former English teacher used on those she described as a bit less visually functionally inclined to remember the English language.
“I don’t know, sir, maybe Dronexit?” I give it my best shot.
“What is a Dronexit?” The other man asks.
“I never think of what it is, sir.”
“I mean, have you never asked your grand aunt?” The first man asks.
“I never deem it polite or of a good manner to ask a senior a matter of privy, sir.” I explain respectfully to the authority.
“You mean you never know what you are safekeeping and yet agree to take charge of the box?” The two men take out enormous white handkerchieves and wipe their foreheads which are sweating profusely due to my accidentally deliberate increasing the heater to the maximum before I let them inside the house. And I have put the two arm chairs next to the floor vent which by now is emitting heat like a perfect Finnish sauna on a hot summer day. Droplets of sweat are running down their plump round faces like raindrops.
“No, sir, I never question my former English teacher, sir. We kids were never allowed to speak sir.” I know my answer is dumb but hopefully they will give up.
One man in black gets up and walks to the French window looking out through the curtain. The other man gets up and follows suit. They confer with each other for awhile and turn back to face me.
“Yes, we understand the undue terrorizing psychological influence a formidable English teacher could have had on a simple juvenile mind.” They speak in unison. “We gather that you are not going to cooperate with us even if you know the content?”
“No, sirs.” I shake my stubborn head.
Suddenly my dog Gracie starts barking loudly followed by a big commotion out there in my front yard. By now I know from the intensity and volume of the dog’s and human’s noises who has just arrived and demands to enter the yard despite Gracie’s reluctance to give way. The two men in black look outside and turn pale together. They stop their interrogation and look at me pleadingly.
“Good young person, you won’t object if we exit through the back door? Will you?”
“Huh?” I cannot believe I have heard correctly. But they repeat their plead.
Seeing I cannot comprehend, they utter in unison, “You see, we are her ex-pupils too!” Then they make a beeline running out of my back door which happens to be unlocked. I can see them running to the back lane and trying to make a detour to their parked car a block away.
They underestimate the visual acuity and physical agility of my former English teacher when it comes to catching her former pupils. By then she has spotted them and despite her high heels and umbrella handicaps, she runs pretty fast and is soon close behind them.
From a distance I can hear her shrieking, “You two, Thompson and Thompson, why are you running? Surely you are up to no good again. Wait till I get my umbrella on you!”
As for me, I turn off the heater, take out a tub of ice cream, sink into my couch and turn on the 39 Steps 1978 movie starring Robert Powell. Yes, I am chilling out in my perfect sanctuary. A perfect chill out. (I am sure the Thompson and Thompson will try their best to serve the former English teacher as they seem quite civil and respectful gentlemen after all.)
p/s: Alas, my former English teacher happens to be my grand aunt too.
“We refuse to turn off our computers, turn off our phone, log off Facebook, and just sit in silence, because in those moments we might actually have to face up to who we really are.”
“I hear a lot of people say that the fear of death and the fear of public speaking are two of the main fears in my generation, but I disagree. I think it’s the fear of silence. We refuse to turn off our computers, turn off our phones, log off Facebook, and just sit in silence, because in those moments we might actually have to face up to who we really are. We fear silence like it’s an invisible monster, gnawing at us, ripping us open, and showing us our dissatisfaction. Silence is terrifying.”
“Trying to live without community is like trying to live without oxygen. We weren’t created to do it.”
“Without the rain there is no beauty in the summer. Rain gives depth, it gives beauty, and it gives roots. If a plant is only exposed to sun and no rain, it becomes dry, flimsy, and dead. Too many times we curse the rain in our lives-suffering, trials, hardships-but the truth is without rain nothing grows.”
“When I was trying to earn Jesus by being good, I missed the real Jesus who wants us to love him and serve him not for what he gives but for who he is—dangerous, unpredictable, radical, and amazing.”
“One of my favorite things about following Jesus is I get to drop the act, admit I’m not good enough, walk in freedom-and that’s good news.”
The Bible isn’t a rule book. It’s a love letter. I’m not an employee. I’m a child. It’s not about my performance. It’s about Jesus’ performance for me. Grace isn’t there for some future me but for the real me. The me who struggled. The me who was messy. ….. He loves me in my mess; he was not waiting until I cleaned myself up.”
“How stupid would it look if when someone broke a hand, the foot started criticizing the hand? That what we look like when Christians begin to criticize the church. One part of the body should lead itself to the healing process of another hurting member. That’s love. That’s the gospel. And that is Jesus.”
“I was just lying there, swimming in my own shame and guilt, when this still small voice whispered into the depths of my soul: I love you. I desire you. I delight in you. I saw you were going to that before I went to the cross, and I still went.”
“In a weird way it seems the only qualification for us to be justified is to be ungodly. It’s like God is saying the only way to qualify is to admit you don’t qualify.”
“So what do we do then? What do you do when the only thing you want to do is yell at God and tell him how awful it is? You do exactly that. Cry. Yell. Scream. Be honest. Be transparent. And be vulnerable. For the first nineteen years of my life, I wanted God to give me an answer, but now I’ve found it is better when I get him. An answer isn’t going to bring that spouse back. An answer won’t ease that pain. But what will is God’s Grace in the depths of our souls.”
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep lowing concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
“But I always wonder why we Christians are the ones who get slapped with the too-narrow-and-exclusive card when everyone’s point of view is the same. Think about it: Every worldview is exclusive to itself. Even by that classmate saying I was arrogant for thinking my was right, she was doing the same thing-saying I was wrong, and she was right. How arrogant of her-not really, but according to her own logic. yes.”
“God’s grace is so much more powerful of a motivator than fear. Love is the deepest motivator. Only love can produce not only willing obedience but also lasting obedience. If you are being motivated by fear, rules, anger, or some other emotion, it usually only lasts while that emotion is there. Love, being a state of the heart, lasts even past the initial emotion.”
(Above quotes are taken from Jefferson Bethke, Jesus > Religion: Why He Is So Much Better Than Trying Harder, Doing More, and Being Good Enough)
My former English teacher struck again. “It’s time you write something decent! Otherwise I will come to your place and give you some timely guidance.” She called from the airport terminal, newly disembarked from a plane from Timbuktu, threatening to come to my hideout and create havoc with my prized new Apple MacBook Pro. What can a chap do caught under such emergency circumstances when you cannot possibly lie or cheat or blame or plead innocent before a pair of vision 20/20 see-all eyes whose cataract-infested lenses had recently been removed and replaced by German-made 100% guaranteed for lifetime lenses?
No, I am not allowing myself to be made a sitting duck target waiting for the impending disastrous bombshell to land right on my head/PC. Notwithstanding I do not have Jeeves the smartest valet in all British land with me right now, I have memorized pretty much of Wooster’s preposterous antics and Jeeves’ wise moves which deflected practically countless calamity-prone balloons of ill-fate that Wooster had been torpedoed. So here I am after a lapse of time in which I was happily cruising along the white coast of some exotic island in Pacific. I am writing an English blog just as I promised my former English teacher who is now on a cab speeding home to check her internet.
So I just dig out the following half finished draft and shall continue with resoluteness and fortitude.
My dissertation is brief and simple. What is a blog? A blog originally came from the word “weblog” or a “web log”. You can think of it as an online journal or diary, although blogs are used for much more now, like online journalism. A blogger is someone who blogs, or writes content for a blog. Blogging is the act of writing a post for a blog. To write a blog you need a Web site on which you can publish it.
You need a PC or a mobile phone to blog and internet to connect you to the web site where you blog. For those who blog in English, you do not need to be perfect in English. The blog site usually has spell-check function. You can of course stick to your individuality and blog without checking your spelling or grammar unless (like me) you have a former English teacher who happens to be your neighbor too! I have previously thought that I could just breathe easy with this particular semi-tech-know blog but she has caught up too in intensive night school on how to become technology-savvy. I can accept that. But she insists on reading blogs (a=including mine) and checking for English accuracy. I cannot handle this.
For that matter I have not turned on the sticky tag functionality for my blogs. You never know what remarks you may get for making a spelling or grammatical slip of the tongue/pen so to speak. The spell-check function does not know what you want to say so it can give a word with proper spelling but entirely irrelevant and/or irreverent meaning. To be on the safe side, I use very short sentences and short words too. Refrain from using the Urban dictionary or similar references as the words or phrases may be incomprehensible to the older generations. Indeed every generation evolves its own words and terms. I personally keep abreast with English that facilitates communication with all sorts of generations. I do like the bombastic long words used in the Jeeves’ and similar era. It’s a pity technology has somehow reduced human capacity to remember and spell long words and the willingness to learn them in the first place.
Sometimes I do wonder whether some or most words will become extinct like the dinosaur. I try to imagine the future museum of extinct words and shudder. What with the future cavemen visitors grunting one or two syllable sounds as they try to communicate with each other since human would have devolved to using basic sounds devoid of words by then. Bloggers too may become extinct when devoid of words.
a frightening thought: your thumb prints can no longer identify you. everything you need must be accessed online with thumb prints. or perhaps eye prints. but you have just changed your natural lenses to artificial lenses. your thumb prints are too blurred after wear and tear. your eye prints are inaccurate. all your supplies are ordered online and delivered by robots. the world is too scary to venture out. no human beings go outdoor anymore. robotics rule the world of supplies and demand of goods and services. no more cash transactions. you access your bank accounts online. you open doors and gates by your thumb prints or eye prints. perhaps DNA prints if available. OPTION? HIDE OUT IN THE MOUNTAIN WITH THE REMOTEST TRIBE ON EARTH IF ANY.
To answer queries from some ‘young’ amateur nerds like me with blogging passion, here are some of the blogging sites with the highest income earning: (Caution: the following is quoted from a random search online-article dated 2014. So it’s a bit outdated. i suggest the NTK (not-tech-know) seniors who are seriously thinking of perhaps making some pocket money to supplement your retirement fund to look further and do more research online.
Here is a quote from the same random article: “With 33.9 million new blogs being created every month and over 60,328,496 blogs on sites like WordPress.com, the following blogging stars have truly emerged from the masses and have risen to the top of the blogosphere for a great many reasons. One thing they all have in common, though; none of these bloggers would have attained this level of influence and wealth if they didn’t have drive, passion and expertise in their respective niches.” (http://www.therichest.com/rich-list/world/worlds-10-top-earning-bloggers/?view=all)
Ewdison Then is the co-founder and executive editor of this consumer electronic and tech news site. He also works as a media publisher for his blog within the site and as CEO of R3 Media LLC.
SlashGear is “geared” towards consumers in need of tech gadgets. In need of an iPhone 5S, tablet, iPad, or looking to get your hands on the newest, coolest touch screen? He puts tech lovers in touch with the latest news regarding all kinds of technology and gadgets. Most income comes from pay-per-click advertising. His overhead has to be incredibly small. SlashGear is also notable for being the most successful blog to utilize the WordPress platform.
a informative blog that covers a range of topics, not just technology, and has developed a network of technology specialized websites. VentureBeat’s scope encompasses tech as well as money, finance and investment topics, including different business techniques to earn money from your investments and aspects of the startup process.
Gina Trapani takes her spot as the only woman on this list of highest earning bloggers. Trapani is not only CEO and founder of the popular blog Lifehacker, but she is highly active in the social media community. Trapani’s focus on Lifehacker is to find ways to do things better, and improve the way in which one lives their life. Lifehacker encourages followers to share tips and new ideas to make everyday life easier. No wonder it’s so popular.
Collis Ta’eed, contributes to various famous blogs. TutsPlus is an informative site for building skills that compiles tutorials, lectures and many other teaching methods to inform readers about application software and numerous designing tools. So whether you need help with music production or have some knowledge you’d like to share and make a buck doing it, Ta’eed’s site is definitely worth a visit.
If you want to learn how to make lots of money Timothy Sykes’ blog is what you should be reading. It includes inspiring articles about investment, finance, stocks, and the like. Sykes is incredibly smart when it comes to stocks. He is an expert, and makes around two million dollars a month from stock operations. While some people waitress at night, Sykes writes one of the most popular, highest earning blogs in the world, and now he trains people and writes articles that help people around the world, and he makes millions doing it.
Cashmore is CEO and founder of the world famous blog Mashable, which covers anything from technology and business to social media, entertainment and lifestyle. Mashable is the largest (award winning) independent site. It is the most influential, the most read and the most popular destination for digital, social media, and technology resources and news. This generation connecting site was established in Cashmore’s bedroom in Scotland when he was only 19-years-old. Cashmere is now the youngest and almost the richest blogger in the world.
are you a technology news and article lover? TechCrunch is a great place to be if you are. Founder Michael Arrington has created a one stop destination for tech news. Arrington has famously become know as the “prophet of Silicon Valley.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SOME THOUGHTS FROM WORDPRESS http://www.wpexplorer.com/make-money-with-wordpress/
Now days many people are making tons of money with WordPress. There are many different ways by which you can also earn a living online with it. Have you ever thought of making money using WordPress? If yes, this detailed post is a treat for you where I will be discussing 6 proven ways to make money with WordPress.
Creating and Selling Plugins
Develop WordPress Themes
Offer WordPress Consulting Services
Blog Setup Service
Content Writing Service
Another way of making money online is to offer content writing services. Do you have the skills to write well? Yes! Start offering WordPress content writing service. You may find WordPress content writing jobs at ProBlogger Job Board, Elance, Odesk, peopleperhour, etc. Or just visit your favorite online blogs – many have contributor application pages where you can submit your articles and get paid for them. So not only will you get some awesome backlinks from top ranking sites, but you can get paid for your hard work.
Start your Own Blog
In the online world, it is always recommended to start a blog for your business. So, what are you waiting for? Launch your own WordPress related blog and start making money. You can create a dedicated services page and offer what all you can do for your clients. Clearly mention your previous work in the portfolio, and include few testimonials. Try to engage with influential bloggers to create a thriving network around your blog to get more clients. You can also make money using affiliate marketing, selling ads, sponsored reviews, etc from your blog.
You don’t have to be a WordPress genius to make a living. If you can do any of the above and know how to sell yourself or your product you will have plenty of chances to make really good money using WordPress. Also, figure out what your targeted audience truly wants; this way you will be on the right track.
Do you have any more strategies to earn money online using WordPress? Please share them in the comment section.
my former english teacher returned with a vengeance. she read my blog during recess. so i agreed to appease her by posting another English language related blog on the power of “q” which went missing with the “e” letter on my old PC keyboard. Obviously the letter “q” is rather exclusive. The trouble is it cannot be replaced easily. For example, if i want to send out the encouraging message to my older ntk (not-tech-know) royalist cronies that the British Queen E II can use modern tech like WhatsApp and smart phone and FaceBook etc., i can’t substitute or remove the letter “Q” from her title. Anything below the title Queen is an insult to her majesty. Besides, i can’t possibly expect my older cronies to pronounce the word “ueen” without the “Q”. The letter Q is indispensable. Just imagine words without “q” as follows:
uest, uick, uery, uestion, uite, uiet, uiz, uote, uit, uid, ueen mother, ueen’s counsel, ueen’s Speech, ueen’s Bench, and ueen’s English. i would find it uite difficult to pronounce these words and shall remain uiet or uit uickly when my former english royalist teacher is around to avoid being ueried and even fined a uid or two for my bad english.
p/s: the picture is an old social media communication channel (or a radio).
To survive a prolonged power outage, this tk (tech-know) amateur nerd who is overtly concerned with social messaging journaling consulted a real ntk (not-tech-know) senior lady on her secret of survival all these years of living with a mere cell phone with the basic primitive functions of call and message. No internet. no social media communication like whatsapp or facebook or even email. worse, if the battery of her dumbphone runs out, how does she live? here is a list of what she does:
1. her cell phone’s battery lasts a long long time. she switches it off when she is not making a call. she reads her sms once in a while.
2. she reads when there is daylight. she sleeps when it is dark.
3. she writes long hand.
4. she talks with her social cronies face to face.
5. they do not do social messaging.
6. they still have a line phone.
7. sometimes they write real letters to each other and post them.
8. they daily meet at the grocer or dairy or newspaper booth or cafe or park or front yard or back yard of someone etc. places of convenience to chat.
9. they send errand boys or girls if available around to pass a written or verbal message.
10. they meet at church or community meeting places weekly and lady fellowship fortnightly and have pot-luck or direct sales parties monthly etc.
11. they can spell and use correct grammar.
12. on dark rainy days when they cannot read or write they merely cook or sleep or dust the house or sing or recite. Oh yes she does have an old olivetti typewriter which is working perfectly.
urgent actions for this amateur nerd: to seriously source a Corona (Smith-Corona)or Hermes or Olivetti or Olympia or Remington or RoyalUnderwood or Others. Perhaps learn to do a variety of stuff as above mentioned. Last but not least (my former english teacher will be pleased with this resolution), to learn english spelling.
as i happily congratulate myself i am not of the very very aged or the not-teck-know (ntk) categories, i am being reminded by my not so favorite chat crony: “wait till you come to ____(fill in the name of whatever place you know/imagine with unlimited power failure), and you’ll taste the medicine.” yes, this truth hits me to the core. no amateur-nerd will want to face that situation of regular power outage and sometimes for days without end. i shudder. because i have experienced such a place such a scene such a nightmare become reality. in view of the seriousness of the topic i consulted a real aged and ntk person. she is still a non-user of any PC/Smartphone/tablet. all she has is nokia cell phone with call and messaging functions. i explained to her what the tk people may face in the power-outage future of this globe. i explained to her how the PC/Smartphone/tablet and the internet work in our daily lives. i told her the dilemma because the generations of the “PC/Smartphone/tablet and the internet” are conditioned not to think anymore. they use short-cuts and others’ brains and sort of mix and match produce their products. when the power is cut they have nothing to operate on except themselves and their own brains which have perhaps atrophied in some cases, prematurely aged. i told the frightening scene when i an amateur nerd has to carry my heavy english dictionary around and use long hand to write down stuff. my two hands shudder at this thought-signal of demanding them to write thousands of characters a day, reaches them (i am an ambidextrous person). i do consider buying a type writer. i have enquired of an un-electrical one. but they seem to have gone extinct or command an exorbitant price as if i am buying a priced antique in my sourcing market. no spell check. no grammar check. end of the writing world. what a blogging doomsday picture.
like my little dog here who refuses to follow proper english and would only wag her tail if you say, “Say Hello”, i am not complying strictly to the english spelling or grammar rules in this post as i am in a hurry. is there an age limit to understanding the computer, internet and the whole lot of modern information tech way of processing written communication between two individuals or more? i ponder this a lot lately especiaaly after reading the book of numbers by joshua cohen. i skimmed through the book as its too large and speaks of some jargons i dont have the time or bother to find out thru the internet dictionary search. the book is a goodread even for the aged. dont be put off by the internet tech jargons. of course you can always find the meaning of the terminologies online. but my question is is it that important to know the meanings of all the tech words used today by a people group whom i have classified as the “tech-know”(acronym: tk). i am not a tk even though i am not yet the aged group. to be correct, there is no such group as the aged. there is perhaps a “tk” group and a “ntk” (not-tech-know) group. however, the book is still useful and here are some quotes from goodread which coincide with my handcopied quotes as i read the book in selected perception.
“The best thing about search is you always find what you want. The worst thing about search is you never find what you do not want.” (this is about the number one internet use which has become a short-cut and replacement for our own memories and recall abilities).)
“The chips were the enablers, limited pellets of silicon that served an apparently unlimited range of functions, as like a single snackfood delivering the tastes of chocolate, vanilla, pork rind, popcorn, pretzel, and chip in every bitesized bite.” (this one is about the possibly trillions or more data/information which the computer can access through storages with huge capacity packed in minute body.)
“By the highway, the Hudson—the library books straining at their delibags, corners poking. Straining my arms, throttling my hands, the numb rewards of literacy.” (i didn’t read the passage that contained this statement. i inlcude this quote because i can relate to it.)
“The computer finally booted but could not find its modem, the modem could not find a signal and the helpscreen automatically loaded. Diagnostic scan in progress. Rotating hourglass, grains in the queue. Quit everything, restart. Quit everything, shut down, unplug, burn the house, build another house, replug, restart.” (this passage teaches how you can use your computer.)
“May through to June I spent my time deciding how to spend my time, which is the first, second, and third through nine thousand seven hundred and griftyfifth items on the agenda of every writer, or neurotic. I was getting ahead of myself, fretting whether the book would have to have notes or sources cited, fretting whether I’d be allowed to decide anything at all.” (this passage is not about computer. it’s about the way a ghost writer or copywriter feels when being commissioned to write an autobiography for someone else.)
btw: don’t be misled by joshua cohen’s book title the book of numbers. it’s about computer and not about the real Book of Numbers.
Some information on computer (book of numbers): In mathematics and digital electronics, a binary number is a number expressed in the binary numeral system or base-2 numeral system which represents numeric values using two different symbols: typically 0 (zero) and 1 (one).A computer number format is the internal representation of numeric values in digital computer and calculator hardware and software. Normally, numeric values are stored as groupings of bits, named for the number of bits that compose them. The encoding between numerical values and bit patterns is chosen for convenience of the operation of the computer; the bit format used by the computer’s instruction set generally requires conversion for external use such as printing and display. Different types of processors may have different internal representations of numerical values. Different conventions are used for integer and real numbers. Most calculations are carried out with number formats that fit into a processor register, but some software systems allow representation of arbitrarily large numbers using multiple words of memory.
One crony (not Batman-G. Clooney) whatsApp messaged my humble two year old samsung in the tone of phone slamming, “What do you mean by your apple macbook and all sorts of incomprehensible words?! What has that got to do with your pc internet inaccessibility?! is macbook an e-book or a laptop pc?! I heard of apple iPhone, iPad but what is this macbook you are talking about?! Stop being so incomprehensible! Use simple-precise-one-paragraph English!! Unlike you, we don’t have all day to guess what you are talking!!!” Alas, she is just as Windows-OS-PC (WOP) loyal and amateur-nerdish as I am. She was annoyed because I could not download or go to google-drive to read her rather voluminous pdf new book (which was impossible to read using my smartphone tiny screen) as I did not have internet access for two weeks through my apple MacBook after returning to my current geographical station of life. So I figure I might as well explain here once and for all for all my WOP cronies in the shortest possible paragraph I can manage. MacBook is a laptop PC developed by Apple which is a company*(see glossary below). I discovered to my horror that it would not allow my newly purchased local USB modem to operate and access the internet. I cannot return for refund and am legally bound to use it for ten months to get back the initial cash deposit. I tried all human means to no avail. Seeking technical solution was like being shuttled back and forth like a passenger lost in the largest alien airport with a plane to catch but without a clue of the location of the departure gate. Thinking back now I realize I must have been put on various chatbot** and chatted with robots instead of human. Why was I in such a predicament? Even though my new MacBook was internet-incapacitated I could have used a back-up laptop PC (the one without the ‘e’ key) or my antique-giant-sized-screen desk top to access internet. The trouble is I have left my Windows OS PC charger in US and discover that in where I am there is no equivalent charger in the market! Another mystery which I have yet to crack is that the desk top shows internet connected but cannot access. All these are true and if you (my crony) don’t believe, come and investigate. Provided you can still find a flight cheap enough to worth your while to fly across the Pacific Ocean or Atlantic, whatever. To be simple and precise, I have solved it by non-human-supernatural-way. I found a brand new Asus router lying around in my personal junk-store and locate its password in my desk-top, both of which were old gifts from someone in US, and they work! So the MacBook is now on Wi-Fi and I have downloaded the pdf book to read.
*TECHNOLOGY GLOSSARY (FOR AMATEUR NERD OR OLD-YOUNG RETIREES)
To avoid dispute whether I can use the term “technology-savvy” or queries on matters of terminologies for this blog, I might as well list the glossary for words commonly used by the amateur nerd here to settle once and for all , past, present and future queries if any on english.
glossary: an alphabetical list of terms or words found in or relating to a specific subject, text, or dialect, with explanations; a brief dictionary.
technology: the application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes.
savvy: shrewd and knowledgeable; having common sense and good judgment.
Smartphones: a cellular phone that performs many of the functions of a computer, typically having a touchscreen, Internet access, and an operating system capable of running downloaded applications.
App (short form for applications): a self-contained program or piece of software designed to fulfill a particular purpose, especially as downloaded to a mobile phone. It can also run on the Internet, on your computer, or other electronic device.
WhatsApp, Facebook messenger, Line, Hangout, Weibo: These are internet instant messaging clients for smartphones.
Instant messaging, often shortened to simply “IM” or “IMing,” is the exchange of text messages through a software application in real-time.
For example: WhatsApp Messenger is an American proprietary cross-platform instant messaging client for smartphones. It uses the Internet to send text messages, documents, images, video, user location and audio media messages to other users using standard cellular mobile numbers.
Chat: An informal conversation: The online exchange of messages in real time with one or more simultaneous users of a computer network: join me for a live online chat Wednesday at 1400 hours.
Chatbot: Short for chat robot, a internet computer program that simulates human conversation, or chat, through artificial intelligence. Typically, a chat bot will communicate with a real person, but applications are being developed in which two chat bots can communicate with each other.
Apple Inc., formerly Apple Computer, Inc., is a multinational corporation that creates consumer electronics, personal computers, servers, and computer software, and is a digital distributor of media content. Apple’s core product lines are the iPhone smart phone, iPad tablet computer, iPod portable media players, and Macintosh computer line (including my MacBook Pro).
MICROSOFT-WINDOWS: In the 1970s, we relied on typewriters. If we needed to copy a document, we likely used a mimeograph or carbon paper. In 1975, Gates and Allen formed a partnership called Microsoft, with a vision—a computer on every desktop and in every home. During the next years, Microsoft began to change the ways we work. Microsoft focused on a new operating system—the software that manages, or runs, the computer hardware and also serves to bridge the gap between the computer hardware and programs, such as a word processor. It’s the foundation on which computer programs can run.
Operating system: An operating system (also called an OS) is a piece of software that is needed to run the programs on a computer or a mobile device. The programs that run on an operating system talk to the hardware.
Software is a general term for the various kinds of programs used to operate computers and related devices. (The term hardware describes the physical aspects of computers and related devices.)
Program (Computing): A set of coded instructions that a computer can understand to solve a problem or produce a desired result. Two basic types of computer programs are (1) an operating system, which provides the most fundamental instructions a computer uses in its operations, and (2) an application program, which runs on the operating system and does a specific job such as word processing.
p/s the above list is endless as one definition warrants another one and so on. i give up here. to my crony or cronies: don’t message me. look up the definitions online. but i can assure you they are all in nerds’ linguistics.
To keep my former English teacher updated regarding the fruit of her many faithful efforts in building a people (class) with some semblance of being educated (through the learning and correct use of English language), I would talk about my Dell PC keyboard and English writing today. During my previous posting to one of the poorest countries on earth, when one of the regular power outage struck while I was cooped up in a box-size room with my PC plugged into an extension cord on a pitch-black night, my first thought was to find the portable emergency light which was somewhere near the end of the bed. I tripped and fell with the PC in a crashing fall. My head hit the corner of the bed and the poor PC fell from somewhere on a tiny coffee table near the bed and incurred damage too. After that I found someone who could repair the PC but not the keyboard. The screen cannot close properly too. Anyway I postponed changing it. My head was repaired alright. But the keyboard started to show some signs of malfunction. I discovered that some alphabets refused to respond to my typing no matter which angle or corner and with what degree of strength I tried to tap or hit. I managed to avoid using some of them by substituting words with similar meanings. But one major alphabet which cannot be substituted effectively is the alphabet “e”. I practically used all my English vocabularies to think of replacement words without “e”. The essay or blog came out nonsensical. Good for my own laugh and nothing else. Even humor is lost without the use of words with “e”. I resorted to copy and paste to temporarily put back the “e” words. Later someone lent (and then gave) me a portable keyboard, which unfortunately has broken down by now after my long voyage home. After I was finally given a MacBook I started typing with fluency and with gratitude. All the “e”s come back and are my friends again. I cannot imagine any language without the English alphabet “e” or its equivalent. try talking without it and you will know what I mean. Here is my random list of common words (without the use of a dictionary) with the alphabet “e”.
Moral of the story: I cannot imagine a world without the many things we have taken for granted. Even the English alphabets or any common signs and symbols human use to communicate to one another. How did human first learn to invent this? There must be an awesome inspiration from the Creator of human (with words and sounds.) (BTW, a way to appreciate the indispensability of one alphabet to the English language is to play scrabbles and remove the “e”s. Alternatively take one paragraph anywhere and delete the “e”s and see the resultant product.)
p/s: I have used English as an example as this is an English blog.
since the first post i have been bombarded by social messaging left and right and some very insulting smilies too. the objection is not the contents but the audacity of me claiming to be “senior” or “advanced” nerd. so i have since changed my claim to a humbler one: “amateur nerd” and also to sub-head the blog as “amateur nerd’s social messaging journal for future” to be more honest and cover all bases. If i merely write or rant for the future, no one can foul me. good thing the retired umbrella-and-red-marking-pen-wielding English teacher is happily flying somewhere to attend important meetings on how to save the world through teaching and speaking and writing proper English without the help of spelling-checked digital devices. otherwise i would not be here typing on my mac as i would be chilling out somewhere she cannot find me. [btw (by the way in case you don’t know) i am not the thirteen year old MIA SAN MIA@ chanting European football fan (whose mom dragged to McDonald to watch world cup matches since a toddler) you fear. i have my own football ranting messaging platform (oops. now you know which is my club). ]
@”Mia San Mia” is a saying in Bavarian dialect. “Mia” comes from “Mir” which is the equivalent of “Wir” in Deutsch. The pronunciation of “Mir” is actually similar to “Mia” , the “r” is pronounced like an “a”. So “Mia San Mia” is ” Wir sind Wir” in German which literally translates to “We are We”.
I never thought I would one day reach this age, at least not so soon. It seems I have only taken a short walk. but now i suddenly arrive at this junction and find that i cannot reverse or turn back. my hair has turned snowy white beside my right temple overnight. Looking back at the 68 years it was like a mere sigh in the night, just as the psalmist has discovered three thousand years ago.
Earth man tends to think of time within our known world and indeed it’s framed in a rather short span for each living creature. No matter how much each man tries to stretch his span, perhaps by a few years or even ten or more, still it does not count much in terms of the actual span of existence planned for each soul in the eternity of God.
Suddenly I have to answer some pertinent questions, who am I and what shall I become in the remains of my days on earth? How shall I live my remaining numbered days until I cross over to the unnumbered days of eternity?
Today is my last day of 67th and a question came while I was walking on the treadmill, what shall I leave behind to my successors if any? A very young one recently DECLARED in the family group WhatsApp chat that she was ANGRY for not having a TV to watch her favorite football team playing, “AND EVERYONE IS LIKE/SLOWLY DYING//” (referring to her ‘aging’ football icons who have announced their forthcoming retirements one by one). She is worried that they are growing old too soon and she would not have good football to watch when she grows up, the younger generation being what they are today, she aptly judged. Even a thirteen-year-old worries about human icons growing too old to play football one day and perhaps even dying. This one certainly knows what good football should be like. The other day she lamented that she was born too late and that she should have been in her mother’s generation because she had missed out watching such quality football and now all she has are leftovers and the players are growing old.
Coming back to my own growing old. What am I doing here typing away on my 2016 MacBook using the latest Window Office Word program? I was almost asleep just now but a notification of a mobile phone message woke me and now I am wide awake. I just look at the time and it’s 12:45am. So I am officially really chronologically 68.
Why do I use Office Word when I can use my MacBook Pages? Why did I insist on installing the Word program on my present and first MacBook two months ago? But I have been a user of Word since its coming to being. How could I suddenly stop? After I received my Mac I learned every relevant function like a typical teenager would do if he had received such a generous gift! I use the mac daily now. but I miss my pc that runs on Widow OS. Somehow I still miss the old (about two-year-old) laptop and the faithful days she has served me mainly in processing my writing hobby. Pity she fell to the floor and hit her head badly during a power failure in one of the poorest countries in the world when I tripped over the extension cord in the dark. Now the “e” refuses to budge. I had to copy ‘e’ from somewhere and paste onto my writing. Quite a task until I got my Mac.
What an interesting or boring topic I am ranting right now. Lately someone in the chat group prompted all of us to update our WhatsApp so our chats, videos, photos etc. will be encrypted end to end. Otherwise someone else can access and eavesdrop. That started a panic and everyone of us updated. Then something strange happened. When I wanted to use WhatsApp google drive prompted me to backup and giving me the options of frequencies only (daily, weekly, or monthly). There was no other option. So I clicked monthly. Another strange thing happened. WhatsApp wanted to access my google drive. I could not access WhatsApp until I acceded to its request (demand). What was I to do? So I emailed my family chat group old and young near and far. I informed them to start using Facebook messenger to reach me if any. I also took action into my own hand by deleting all my google drive data. One of my contemporary told me she uninstalled WhatsApp from all her phones. She then reinstalled in one phone dedicated to WhatsApp only! while I was getting ready to go out and get another phone for WhatsApp only someone from a younger generation emailed and gave me and the group sensible advice and urged us not to panic. His advice calmed me (us) down. And now I am using the same old WhatsApp again without doing the drastic move of getting a dedicated WhatsApp mobile phone. However, since two members did not update their WhatsApp in time so I went ahead and deleted them so our chats could be encrypted from end to end. Later they updated and rejoined. Now my headache is one closest buddy refuses to update her WhatsApp. So my messages to her are reduced to minimal and in my own codes. (She has since refused to read my coded messages or chats).
This blog is free flow and refuses to follow any spelling, grammar or any other forms of English language rules. So my retired English teacher neighbor blocks away must not read and try to correct by WhatsApping or FaceBookmessaging or Hangouting or Twittering or Weiboing or Lining or whatever modern social messaging Apping me please. Don’t attempt to come with your umbrella and check if I happen to venture into my garden and give me a whack on the head too. My faithful dog gracie can spot your scooter from a km off. She is smart, you know, having a smart owner. She knows a variety of languages too due to the in and out of guests in my humble abode. Of course her mother tongue is English.
Well that’s enough ranting from an up-to-date and futurist sixty-eight. What a way to start a new year.
p/s: someone just called and queried whether this one was written by the youngest member of the chat group (the thirteen year old football fan).