amateur nerd · millennial short-story · writing · young in heart

War between Dronesville’s Brave (dog) and Meanie the Plop (cat): Dronesville adventure #5

Plop
dronesvilles-adventure-dog-3“Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.” (Agatha Christie, Death on the Nile). Like I said in my previous blog about me being able to speak and tech-know, I go into hideout by joining my robot dog friend Robby in the hyperloop. By now everyone should know how loyal we dog are to our human masters. “The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog.” (M.K. Clinton, The Returns).

The hyperloop place is cluttered with all sorts of machines and being a miniature dog I can slip in without being noticed. It is three in the morning and everyone is sound asleep. They do not keep a dog but there is a tiny pet entrance at the back kitchen for a cat. Yes, there is a cat there. Her name is Meanie (aka Goliath) the Plop. The drone carries me over the wall smoothly. As I approach the cat entrance I can smell the Plop. But I am not afraid. “What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” Dwight D. Eisenhower (34th President of the United States). Like my master, I am oozing oily quotes/misquotes from every pore and oil myself to the floor. (My Fair Lady) My master has done a good job daily drumming them into his and my head through repetitions during meal time.

I enter the house without a sound. But the Plop seems waiting for me. “What have we here? Haha a miserable intruder!” She hisses. She is huge for a cat. Sleek and huge. Grossly overweight. “My, a miniature dog! What is that on your back? Hand it over!” Her size is colossal. She stands up and arches her back, opening her menacing mouth, sticking out a blood red tongue. Her claws are long and sharp. Shifting into a war pose she blocks my way. What else can an otherwise peace loving decent dog do in this situation?

I won’t describe the Dronesville brave (dog) and the Goliath Plop of a cat fight scene. it is not pretty. Losing is not my game so eventually I signal my companion brave (drone) to land on her head. She is shocked beyond words. The crash landing of the drone knocks her out. By then Robby has appeared and leads us two braves (dog and drone) through a dark tunnel to his hideout. I spend the rest of the night and many nights thereafter licking my wounds. I shall not rejoin my master until I am whole again.

I must admit I do plop myself down on the hard tiled floor and sulk for sometime. Then I cheer up. Robby the robot dog seems trustworthy. He is good in finding food too (for me of course). The drone is my assurance. He is like a security blanket a toddler must carry around. I need his mobility and later communication with my master who probably will be frantic when he discovers that I am missing. Hahaha, my turn to laugh and congratulate myself for my ingenious scheme to help my master, despite the Plop’s nasty interval. My human master will be proud of me. Tomorrow will be a brighter day! (Misquoting Gone with the Wind). (To be continued)

amateur nerd · millennial short-story · writing · young in heart

a night of rare decision for a dog: Dronesville’s adventure#3

Rare

dronesville#3It is time a self-respecting dog speaks his or her own view. By now you know i am the dog, Gracie. This is the dog ranting. LOL. i have a view too. i overheard the conversation between the boss and my very kind caretaker master, a young tech-know nerd. i heard my fate being decided by the humans (or rather one total stranger whom my master calls boss). Ahem, it is rather unfair. i am here happily minding my own business in Dronesville and keeping my own territory protected, and suddenly come this English lord who suggests i leave and trot round the globe with my master to seek some foolish worthless treasure! What treasure? To me, treasure means doggie treats with beef or chicken flavors and the illusive flying creatures with wings in the park. No, i am not going anywhere!

Yet, on second thought, i have been having this dream about a foreign golden hair glamorous dog wearing pretty red wear and looking real smart and glamorous. What do you think? Can’t we ordinary dogs have dreams of grandeur? i once heard someone said that opportunity is like a horse flying by and you just have to be ready to grab its tail and fly with it. Hmmm i am ready to grab this flying tail or not? Fame and fortune. Not bad. To become rare or not? That is the question. It is hard for a dog to keep up with the dog jones too. This is a rare opportunity for me to do something with my ordinary life. Maybe i get to know the world beyond Dogsville, oops, i mean Dronesville. Maybe i get to visit places with exotic flavored doggie food and lots of rare flying creatures with wings and catch some!

Glamour aside. The truth is,  what will I not do for my human master who has taken care of me so well?  No, I am not going to let him down. Why? i suspect he doesn’t have any choice. Neither do i.

That settles it. My decision is made. i am going to run away before the night is over. The blame will be on me and not my master. Being steeped in this tech-know community i am sort of a tech-know dog too. i know where i can go. LOL. (To be continued)

amateur nerd · millennial short-story · social messaging journal for future · weekly photo challenge · writing · young in heart

to reach or not to reach (Dronexit#26)

Narrow

Dronexit#26
a narrow door -time portal

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. This is the statement i have decided to use to finish this episode in Dronesville. My famous source is George Orwell in 1984 (1949) of course! By now the blog readers who are unfamiliar with this nerd, and who stray here without a reference from my cronies, would have noticed anyway that this nerd seems to be nerdy about English, British, WWII, drones, robots, vault, social media chat, messaging, nerd terminology, pictures created by cut and paste and overlay of objects and scenes taken or created by others on my own originals, story telling, adventure and spy movies reaching far back into history, science that borders on fantasy, overlay of individuals (often historical) on my current or fantasized scenes like what Pokemon Go does with little monsters overlaying on your mobile phone screens, pasting of my memes in your imagination with my blogs, and of course, cartoon characters, funny jokes, and literature quotes and misquotes etc.

the Dronesville residents call a meeting and give me a farewell party. The president of the Dronexit committee, a former botany science teacher, makes a descent speech about my contribution as the youngest (uncovered) member of this retiree community who belongs largely to the Baby Boomers and Silent Generation. “One thing we admit you do pretty well is being resourceful in trying and not giving up. And you dare reach where no one or hardly anyone dares.” He says.

The members reach an agreement and give me a gold medal with this inscription, “To reach or not to reach, that is the question” -a deliberate misquote from William Shakespeare – To be, or not to be (from Hamlet 3/1).

My former English teacher (who is also my grand-aunt) specifies, “We define the word ‘reach’ as follows:
[ no obj. ] (reach out) chiefly N. Amer. seek to establish communication with someone, with the aim of offering or obtaining assistance or cooperation: his style was to reach out all the time, especially to members of his own party | anyone in need of assistance should reach out to the authorities as soon as possible.
succeed in achieving: the intergovernmental conference reached agreement on the draft treaty.
make contact or communicate with (someone) by telephone or other means: I’ve been trying to reach you all morning.
(of a broadcast or other communication) be received by: television reached those parts of the electorate that other news sources could not.
succeed in influencing or having an effect on: their fresh sound and message reach people who may never set foot in a church.

Quite a tall order and prophecy for me and my futuristic journey in this blogging nerd’s life ahead. Blogging is all about ‘reaching’ an audience. The same with any social media. We just yearn to ‘connect’. Some prefer the word ‘share’. We like to share.

Whatever we use to describe this yearning behind every WordPress blogger, the motivation is similar. The mode of presentation too. We rely mainly on two things: pictures that say a thousand words. And a thousand words.

I have since discovered that this nerd’s targets do not read WordPress blogs or any blogs with words. To be precise, they do not read words unless the words interest them. How to make my words interesting to the millennials? My nerd friends tell me: fun and usefulness. And along this goal-path I shall plod.

I have not ferreted out the other two or three nerds hiding in Dronesville. They have moved house and do not seek to communicate. Apparently the lady who did not appear a nerd is one of them. She too vanishes into nerd’s air.

My time is up. I am due to travel to my distant and more exciting land treasure hunting. Good bye, Dronesville nerds. Time for my narrow door -my time travel portal now. Signed, a nerd from Dronesville. (Plodding on to reach my goals)

Reach

“To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,”
(William Shakespear)

p/s: This daily prompt stuff is good. I find lots of inspirations in formulating my nerd adventure story in Dronesville! Thanks! Continue to have fun, all!

Fun!

amateur nerd · millennial short-story · writing · young in heart

Unstoppable treasure hunt (Dronexit#14)

Unstoppable
dronexit14 bird head“Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French.” I copy this famous first line from PG Wodehouse’s “The Luck of the Bodkins”.

What can be more humiliating for a nerd than to be cornered and exposed? The worst thing is that no one will bail me out anyway if I should get into big trouble. “Teach you a lesson.” Most of the extended family members will say. I should have stayed French instead of wanting to be British. Maybe I would have had better luck. The family did not think high of me because I flung my college and went to Belgium. After an apprenticeship in the diamond trade I was given the boot. I joined the Roman legionarius (stuntmen of course) and was again given a discharge (not so honorary) at the end of my contract. Then I was employed by the King Solomon’s Treasure Hunt top secret project with a group of high-tech nerds. We went all over three large continents living in constant stress and treacherous conditions over a period of three years. That was how I got burn out and had to return home for a break. No, I am not a criminal as insinuated by the two crooks. It’s just that I cannot talk about my real assignment with anyone, not even family. I cannot get involved with the law. I have pledged secrecy in exchange for very high stake.

I now realize I don’t have the steely cool nerve and hawk-like alertness of 007 Bond. On the other hand, with luck I could cope as good as Johnny England. Since I am committed to such a confidential matter why do I bother to entertain the group of senior nerds? Well, I ask the same question too. Why do school kids do their homework? Because the teachers ask them to. I know this is not a good answer. But it just has to make do for now. I have more important thing to think over.

What were the wrong turns I made in my life?
1. choosing a career that calls for fictitious movie or best sellers’ characters like 007 James Bond, Ethan Hunt, Jason Bourne, or Indiana Jones.
2. coming home to Dronesville thinking that I can chill out here in peace and quiet hibernating in the midst of an ancient community.
3. making the assumption that no one here will be high tech enough to know that I am using my Plan-B robot.
4. worst of all, making the assumption that the senior retirees in this community will never be interested in technology and will definitely leave me in peace.

You ask, if I am that poor or sub-standard why do my Treasure Hunt employers employ me? Good question. I ask the same too. So there. No answer for you. What? You don’t like this blog because it doesn’t give away the answer? Okay. The answer is obvious. I can smell treasure. I am more accurate than any advanced tech gadget.

And I have a Plan-C. I am unstoppable. LOL. (To be continued)

p/s the picture shows how a cluttered nerd mind looks like.

amateur nerd · millennial short-story · writing · young in heart

Millennial elusive song (Dronexit#12)

Elusive
droneexit12 elusive nerdsTonight I am turning the table by roping in two other young elusive nerds so there will be three of us and not one lone nerd-wolf in the digital wild.

I have this fail-proof nerds catching plan which I shall execute with perfection. As the night draws nearer to midnight I become more and more confident. Tell me, which nerd can resist the lure of the sight and sound of a low flying drone bearing the latest Pokémon Go free gift depositing on his or her bedroom window sill?

Hahaha, that is what I think as I walk down the street with my drone and robot flying above and my dog Gracie trotting behind. To cover the whole Dronesville I shall take at least three hours but I have since received renewable energy super-charged cell pack from SolarCity and the drone has been modified today for the job even if it takes the whole night!

The patrol goes pretty well and smoothly in that despite the temptation not one senior nerd opens his or front door or window to inspect the incredible noise the drone and the robot are producing as we walk from house to house. Many have obediently switched off their lights too. There is a false alarm in one case when one lady who apparently is not a senior or junior nerd has her lights on, opens her window and watches the whole show performed by the robot and receives her Pokémon Go gift pack with glee too.

Gracie the dog is not perturbed by the show. She seems in a serious mood. An hour has passed before we locate our first elusive prey. The blue building looks like a warehouse with all windows closed. But one can see light beaming out from behind one window. The drone flies near and the robot starts its show. From my mobile which is linked by blue tooth to the drone’s camera I can see the window scene closed-up. A young man opens his window and watches the entire drone-robot-show. He seems dazed encountering the incredible spectacle at his window. He retrieves the free gift too and shuts his window after that. The drone has taken a good video of this nerd and I have jotted down his street address too. There is no house number on his front door. But I can remember the location.

By the time I walk pass the last house in Dronesville I realize that the second elusive nerd has hidden himself really well. He has been alerted? Hmmm we shall see. Anyway I have caught one elusive nerd tonight and shall go home and call it a day/night. (To be continued)

amateur nerd · English perspective · millennial short-story · writing

what is in that box? dronexit#10

Sanctuary
39 Steps 1978What I fear has come to pass. At 8am this Saturday morning I hear a door bell ringing like someone’s house is on fire. When I realize it is my doorbell I have to get up from bed and entertain whoever at the gate. Two identical men in black suit. They also wear bowler hats like the twin brothers Thompson and Thompson of TinTin fame. They represent the government secret service authority and want to question me what the parcel labelled Dronexit#1 contains. It is probably due to a leak through the social spy drone which hovers over my window a couple of times.

“What is in that box?” One man asks.
“Huh?” I blink a few times to make sure I am not having a nightmare.
The next man in black repeats his question, “To be precise, what is in that box that labels Dronexit#1?”
“Huh?” I open my mouth and gulp lungfuls of air, as if I am choking.
“I mean, what is in that box your grand aunt handed to you for safe keeping?” The first man asks.
Hundreds of possible answers race through my mind like flash cards my former English teacher used on those she described as a bit less visually functionally inclined to remember the English language.
“I don’t know, sir, maybe Dronexit?” I give it my best shot.
“What is a Dronexit?” The other man asks.
“I never think of what it is, sir.”
“I mean, have you never asked your grand aunt?” The first man asks.
“I never deem it polite or of a good manner to ask a senior a matter of privy, sir.” I explain respectfully to the authority.
“You mean you never know what you are safekeeping and yet agree to take charge of the box?” The two men take out enormous white handkerchieves and wipe their foreheads which are sweating profusely due to my accidentally deliberate increasing the heater to the maximum before I let them inside the house. And I have put the two arm chairs next to the floor vent which by now is emitting heat like a perfect Finnish sauna on a hot summer day. Droplets of sweat are running down their plump round faces like raindrops.
“No, sir, I never question my former English teacher, sir. We kids were never allowed to speak sir.” I know my answer is dumb but hopefully they will give up.
One man in black gets up and walks to the French window looking out through the curtain. The other man gets up and follows suit. They confer with each other for awhile and turn back to face me.
“Yes, we understand the undue terrorizing psychological influence a formidable English teacher could have had on a simple juvenile mind.” They speak in unison. “We gather that you are not going to cooperate with us even if you know the content?”
“No, sirs.” I shake my stubborn head.

Suddenly my dog Gracie starts barking loudly followed by a big commotion out there in my front yard. By now I know from the intensity and volume of the dog’s and human’s noises who has just arrived and demands to enter the yard despite Gracie’s reluctance to give way. The two men in black look outside and turn pale together. They stop their interrogation and look at me pleadingly.
“Good young person, you won’t object if we exit through the back door? Will you?”
“Huh?” I cannot believe I have heard correctly. But they repeat their plead.
Seeing I cannot comprehend, they utter in unison, “You see, we are her ex-pupils too!” Then they make a beeline running out of my back door which happens to be unlocked. I can see them running to the back lane and trying to make a detour to their parked car a block away.

They underestimate the visual acuity and physical agility of my former English teacher when it comes to catching her former pupils. By then she has spotted them and despite her high heels and umbrella handicaps, she runs pretty fast and is soon close behind them.

From a distance I can hear her shrieking, “You two, Thompson and Thompson, why are you running? Surely you are up to no good again. Wait till I get my umbrella on you!”

As for me, I turn off the heater, take out a tub of ice cream, sink into my couch and turn on the 39 Steps 1978 movie starring Robert Powell. Yes, I am chilling out in my perfect sanctuary. A perfect chill out. (I am sure the Thompson and Thompson will try their best to serve the former English teacher as they seem quite civil and respectful gentlemen after all.)

p/s: Alas, my former English teacher happens to be my grand aunt too.

amateur nerd · English perspective · millennial short-story · social messaging journal for future · writing · young in heart

a dog’s life (dronexit#7)

Unpredictable

tree and dog

This is how I become the neighborhood’s number one hero. The drone lands on my head precariously yet without a hitch beautifully executed by my Plan-B robot in my pocket. While balancing myself with the drone up there like a good oriental circus practitioner with super-human physical skills and dexterity, I am warmly ushered into the dining room of the oldest and most respectable resident senior nerd, the Dronexit chairman, Mr.Bee (not his real name)on this block. My dog Gracie too receives undeserved favor with my sketcher still hanging from her mouth.

The Dronexit chairman calls a meeting as all the members (ages between 65-85) are here. We have cups of hot tea with cookies. Gracie gets her doggie treat too. Mr.Bee, who is a retired botanist congratulates me for completing a truly difficult and near impossible task climbing up that tree with such speed with the dog dangling at one foot. But he warns that the next secret mission should not be so noisy and open for everyone to see. He expects discretion.

“But sir, I cannot do it in silence with Gracie insists on going the round with me!” I try to get out of this most unpleasant assignment. But they are not going to let me off. While all shake their heads, Mr. Bee says, “Young person, just look around the dinning table, is anyone of us capable of climbing that tree?”

“Is any head here capable of performing as a drone landing pad so perfectly?”

“Can any of us race up and down the streets in such speed and agility with a furiously barking dog right at the heel?”

“That settles it, none of us will be seen dead doing any of the stuff you do tonight!” My former English teacher finally declares.

The meeting is dismissed amicably and I get to go home to sleep finally, with the robot in one pocket, drone in the other, and Gracie happily trotting along, stuffed with doggie goodies. At least it has been a good night out for her after all. As for me? Speechless again. (to be continued)

amateur nerd · English perspective · millennial short-story · writing · young in heart

drone patrol.dronexit#5

drone with zoom camera copyIt started with a phone call. A sharp and ear-piercing ring wakes me at 5am. ” Good News!” The caller continued, “After taking a trip to the first ever InterDrone convention in Las Vegas, I have been convinced and bought the best drone for the aspiring aerial photographer or videographer and amateur nerd. It has a forward-collision sensing system that will stop it in its tracks before it gets too friendly with a tree. it has built-in optical zoom and night vision too.” My 68 year old senior Dronexit (I have decided to give her this code name) is on the phone. She is full of positive news. Sometimes I suspect she has the intelligence of a potential rocket scientist nerd. She is truly a new breed of senior citizen tech-know-to-be in the neighborhood.

I want to commend her but suddenly realize that she is neither a photographer or videographer. What is the expensive drone camera for? She seems to have predicted my concern. “O, BTW, I am going to lend you this equipment to do the counter-spy work in our neighborhood. We have decided that you are just the right person to man our night drone patrol.”

“Huh?” I fall off the bed and collapse on the carpeted floor. “What? Who?” I mutter under my breath. But the senior has all the answers, “A group of us senior amateur nerds have formed a neighborhood dronexit cell group. You are our honorary member.”

She seems to read my mind and reassures me, “Don’t worry, all you need to do is patrol at night. A battery lasts around 28 minutes and you carry a spare one too. So it should not take you more than an hour!”

“I will personally bring you the drone and a random patrol schedule which we have worked out based on the latest probability statistics so you can start tonight.”

By the time she deposits the drone and schedule and leaves happily for her German and Russian class, I do not know whether I should laugh or cry. All her cronies are in the cell group. They are mostly retired teachers of old time and are now resolutely upgrading themselves in technology and languages.

Why me? I cry. Just in case you wonder why, I shall explain briefly. I am the youngest available person in this neighborhood. When I say young I mean I am in the millennial demographic group. Why am I currently so free and available? Because I just happen to be on my sabbatical leave from a highly confidential experimental project. Why do I have a vault in the house and keep receiving instructions from a former English teacher? Well, I am a rent-free tenant cum caretaker right now for the house which belongs to her husband’s family (which is in turn related to my extended family.)

All I need is sleep, watch old comedies and rest my brain. I even postpone getting involved with the Pokemon Go. BUT now I don’t seem to have any option. No, no slapstick humor this time. It is serious matter henceforth. I resort to my serious Plan-B. (To be continued)

amateur nerd · English perspective · millennial short-story · writing · young in heart

drones n Pokemon Go. dronexit#4

Cowardicedrone pokemon Go
“Drones fly controlled by nothing more than people’s thoughts.” As I read this I begin to understand my former English teacher’s fear and resolution to protect herself against plausible intrusion of her privacy. She called me just now and asked, “Shall I invest in a drone of my own? I can even control it by thoughts! One day I could wear a brain-controlled interface device like I wear a watch, to interact with things around me!”

I gave her this warning I just read, “Once I know what the readings look like from your brain in a certain situation, I’ll be able to recognize you by that pattern again later on,” (a neuroscientist warns amid rise of computers that can read our minds.)

It is a frightening thought to manipulate and be manipulated by technology in the future world. Can any human avoid this invasion? I am pondering and hearing footsteps. Someone is at my front gate. No, not one person. It sounds like several people. What can they be doing? I mute my Mr. Bean and peep through the curtain at the French window. What a strange sight of grown men holding their mobiles, walking as dazed, gazing up and down, talking to themselves.

When I switch to BBC news, I read this on-screen: “Pokemon Go, a mobile game that has become a global phenomenon, has been released in the UK. It was already available in the US, Australia and Germany but some UK gamers found ways around the country restriction to get early access. The app lets players roam a map using their phone’s GPS location data and catch Pokemon to train and battle.”

Someone presses my door bell. Waving his mobile, he indicates he wants to enter my front yard which possibly is now infested wth creatures from virtual outer-space. I pretend I am not at home. My dog Gracie barks and jumps ferociously. But the man does not go away. He opens his mouth and says something. The commotion is deafening.

But like my former English teacher now being trained to teach German as second language, I too have my Plan-B. I duly put on my wig, floral skirt and fake gold-teeth and walk into the garden with a mop and a tin pail. I start speaking an unknown language in a falsetto. I wave my mop at him, reinforcing my lone brave dog. When he refuses to budge I pour the water on the ground and start banging the tin pail with the tin plate which is in Grace’s dog house. *

What happens now? You should see the poor man running down the street. Many others run behind him. What a sight. I treat Gracie with her favorite bacon snack, and me my favorite yam ice cream with coconut flavor.

yam ice cream

*Explanatory notes: the disguised dressing is meant to give the message that I don’t know their language. The banging of stuff is to make loud metal noise which is an ancient oriental traditional practice during eclipse of the sun.

amateur nerd · English perspective · millennial short-story · social messaging journal for future · writing · young in heart

I am no hero.dronexit#2

Cowardice
dronexit#1I am not a hero. A piercing shriek followed by pathetic sounds of whimper in my front yard shatter my fragile peace. Shaken from chilling out on the lounge chair nursing my bundle of nerves by watching Mr.Beans, recovering from the disastrous news of my beloved nation opting to become number two again like the TB safely behind GB, now repeating history to have a MT2 behind EURO power woman AM, I venture to stir myself from hibernation.

Stealthily I creep to the curtain of my French window and peep through a minuscule space. what I see makes sense. No wonder my poor dog “Gracie” is whimpering, hiding herself in her makeshift storm shelter behind a thick sheet of indestructible plastic canvas.

A UK PM MT#2 complete with hairdo, hair color and makeup etc, but with the newest number ten wannabe smart Euro-suit dressing and German AM accent is shrieking at Gracie. I am not surprised that the social media drone has done its work and finally forces its presence at my front gate. I am not worried because I am prepared for this day.

“xxx!” She cries. “Open this gate and stop that politically incorrect person (meaning Gracie)!” It is the voice of my former English teacher! She is normally quite unflustered but today she seems a wee bit off her usual healthy wholesome outdoor English provincial farm mother colour.

She hurries into the house and hands me a IPAD size box labelled DRONEXIT#1. “Here you are, guard with your life!” She starts her monologue. “You know, I am quite politically correct now. I just told my old mother that I will henceforth call her in an ancient Chinese term,  Niang (for mom), which no English politically-correct person can ever guess. God (oops, I mean X) bless her. I also WhatsApp all my children to warn them not to associate with me in public, and call me Niang in private (beware of social media drones). I have registered myself as a resident in London City, Paris, Hamburg, Milan, San Francisco and Shanghai and to be precise I am now cosmopolitan and not provincial! LOL!”

Then she rolls her eyes with a tinge of sadness, “But I do miss being a mother and a provincial wife who happily makes shepherd’s pies for her sons!”

“Above all,” she whispers, “I miss calling God “God”” She has tears in her eyes. “I just have to make do with the substitute “X”. I asked Him for His forgiveness.” Then she breaks out into a full blast of weeping and lamenting in my sitting room. The thick white rice cake on her cheeks starts melting and she gradually looks more like my good old provincial English teacher whom we ex-pupils still love much in reverence for the godly values she drummed into our young and stubborn heads.

I cannot help but budge in as I focus my worries on her box. “What is inside this box?” I am not to be caught with anything with a hint of motherhood or being provincial. I can imagine the day when I wake up and find a social media drone hovering at my bedroom window taking snapshots so some social media (all the politically-correct ruling newspapers and internet/mobile social media and connect platforms) guru will have a field day with my secret life as a naturally born citizen of this nation. Of course, I am fully aware that the majority of this nation are silent as they are not tech-know. The silent majority who are provincial and mother-respecting cannot help me against the drone invasion.

She suddenly looks at her watch and exclaims, “O dear, I forgot that I have an appointment!” She practically speaks in exclamation. “I have enrolled in the German class. You never know what will happen to English language. I am patriotic but I need to camouflage and fortify myself for future since I cannot keep my English identity. You too, young person! (She is careful in using words with no gender connotation now. My former English teacher is a fast learner. I will vote for her if she ever runs for government…sigh.)

When I sink into my couch and start examining the box labelled DRONEXIT#1, I cannot help but think of two great books written by two famous English writers: BRAVE NEW WORLD, and THE CHILDREN OF MAN.

Quotes from Wikipedia
Brave New World is a novel written in 1931 by Aldous Huxley and published in 1932. Set in London in the year AD 2540 (632 A.F.—”After Ford”—in the book), the novel anticipates developments in reproductive technology, sleep-learning, psychological manipulation, and classical conditioning that combine profoundly to change society.

The Children of Men is a dystopian novel by P.D. James that was published in 1992. Set in England in 2021, it centres on the results of mass infertility. James describes a United Kingdom that is steadily depopulating and focuses on a small group of resisters who do not share the disillusionment of the masses.

amateur nerd · English perspective · writing

English blogging, MacBook and cavemen

the-emergence-of-language-cave-woman-we-need-to-talk-caveman-uh-oh-new-yorker-cartoonMy former English teacher struck again. “It’s time you write something decent! Otherwise I will come to your place and give you some timely guidance.” She called from the airport terminal, newly disembarked from a plane from Timbuktu, threatening to come to my hideout and create havoc with my prized new Apple MacBook Pro. What can a chap do caught under such emergency circumstances when you cannot possibly lie or cheat or blame or plead innocent before a pair of vision 20/20 see-all eyes whose cataract-infested lenses had recently been removed and replaced by German-made 100% guaranteed for lifetime lenses?

No, I am not allowing myself to be made a sitting duck target waiting for the impending disastrous bombshell to land right on my head/PC. Notwithstanding I do not have Jeeves the smartest valet in all British land with me right now, I have memorized pretty much of Wooster’s preposterous antics and Jeeves’ wise moves which deflected practically countless calamity-prone balloons of ill-fate that Wooster had been torpedoed. So here I am after a lapse of time in which I was happily cruising along the white coast of some exotic island in Pacific. I am writing an English blog just as I promised my former English teacher who is now on a cab speeding home to check her internet.

So I just dig out the following half finished draft and shall continue with resoluteness and fortitude.

My dissertation is brief and simple. What is a blog? A blog originally came from the word “weblog” or a “web log”. You can think of it as an online journal or diary, although blogs are used for much more now, like online journalism. A blogger is someone who blogs, or writes content for a blog. Blogging is the act of writing a post for a blog. To write a blog you need a Web site on which you can publish it.

You need a PC or a mobile phone to blog and internet to connect you to the web site where you blog. For those who blog in English, you do not need to be perfect in English. The blog site usually has spell-check function. You can of course stick to your individuality and blog without checking your spelling or grammar unless (like me) you have a former English teacher who happens to be your neighbor too! I have previously thought that I could just breathe easy with this particular semi-tech-know blog but she has caught up too in intensive night school on how to become technology-savvy. I can accept that. But she insists on reading blogs (a=including mine) and checking for English accuracy. I cannot handle this.

For that matter I have not turned on the sticky tag functionality for my blogs. You never know what remarks you may get for making a spelling or grammatical slip of the tongue/pen so to speak. The spell-check function does not know what you want to say so it can give a word with proper spelling but entirely irrelevant and/or irreverent meaning. To be on the safe side, I use very short sentences and short words too. Refrain from using the Urban dictionary or similar references as the words or phrases may be incomprehensible to the older generations. Indeed every generation evolves its own words and terms. I personally keep abreast with English that facilitates communication with all sorts of generations. I do like the bombastic long words used in the Jeeves’ and similar era. It’s a pity technology has somehow reduced human capacity to remember and spell long words and the willingness to learn them in the first place.

Sometimes I do wonder whether some or most words will become extinct like the dinosaur. I try to imagine the future museum of extinct words and shudder. What with the future cavemen visitors grunting one or two syllable sounds as they try to communicate with each other since human would have devolved to using basic sounds devoid of words by then. Bloggers too may become extinct when devoid of words.

amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · writing

imagine your thumb prints cannot be used

HIDE OUT
A DAY OF INTERNET GLOOM

a frightening thought: your thumb prints can no longer identify you. everything you need must be accessed online with thumb prints. or perhaps eye prints. but you have just changed your natural lenses to artificial lenses. your thumb prints are too blurred after wear and tear. your eye prints are inaccurate. all your supplies are ordered online and delivered by robots. the world is too scary to venture out. no human beings go outdoor anymore. robotics rule the world of supplies and demand of goods and services. no more cash transactions. you access your bank accounts online. you open doors and gates by your thumb prints or eye prints. perhaps DNA prints if available.  OPTION? HIDE OUT IN THE MOUNTAIN WITH THE REMOTEST TRIBE ON EARTH IF ANY.

amateur nerd · English perspective · social messaging journal for future · writing

I, Daniel Blake

Read this about an elderly man who was compelled to use internet. He has no smart phone, no computer, no internet. https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/may/12/i-daniel-blake-ken-loachs-welfare-state-polemic-is-blunt-dignified-and-brutally-moving?CMP=share_btn_fb#_=_
Watch this not-tech-know sad story
this cheerfully open, unreflective man is naively candid about his intention to avoid work for his health – so is humiliatingly labelled as a scrounger. Everything has to be applied for online, but Blake has no computer, no smartphone, no internet, and is mortifyingly incompetent at using the terminals in his public library, which crash or freeze just as he is reaching the end of the form, so he must go back to the beginning…

amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · undeserved favor · writing

an English language savvy young football nerd

football coach pray
football coach prays

Can a football nerd be good at academic study and nerdy interest simultaneously? The latest answer is “Yes”. A thirteen-year-old fan of a football club spent about a month doing her revision seriously and got A1 for her Math, Science and English. She made a significant jump from the bottom Ds to ranking with the few A1 elites in her class. How did she do it? She made a deal with her mom. She wanted a TV with subscription to Fox Sports so she could watch her favorite European football live matches. It was an impossible deal unless a miracle happened. It did. She now has her TV with Fox Sports. It just shows how the right kind of motivation can work wonders. Of course, credit must be given to her elderly grandma and grand-aunt, aunt and others who diligently prayed for her to succeed. Why? Are they football fans too? No. They prayed because at year-end there will be a streaming between arts and science in her grade. She comes from a family of scientists* and no one in their ‘rightful-scientific’ (quoted from the scientific family senior) mind can envisage her going into arts stream. Besides the kid said adamantly she has to be a scientist because she cannot (or rather is too layback to) memorize historical names and dates. Was her result a fluke? No. this kid is intelligent and masters her language well. She likes math and science so there is no fluke. She just needs a push to study and sports channel has given the right push at the right time. One main reason why she needs to watch now and not in future is that all her favorite players are retiring soon and she may not have a chance to see them play next year. So she is happy watching football now. Her folks are all happy that she can become a scientist if she continues to adhere to the deal and work diligently on her school work. Her language is good and she is creative too. She has been selected to join a summer class on creative art (with focus on writing poetry) this coming June in a good university. After all, it certainly looks like all’s well that ends well.

p/s: *the only exception is an arts or rather literature-inclined senior in the family who laments that there will be no English literature successor after all.

amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · writing

hacker scare and internet addiction

huaweitoggleThis amateur nerd had a scare today. He was on the internet until around 5am and decided to call it a day (a night rather). But he changed his mind and restarted his Apple PC and the internet router to continue to work on something he earlier omitted. To his horror he was unable to have internet connection. As he could not use the Huawei USB pen-drive toggle, he used an Asus router as a WiFi hotspot with a preset password by someone from whom he inherited this router. When he plucked in the USB modem to his Dell PC just to check the data usage and balance he was shocked to see the usage was near maximum, for day and for night, even for an unknown free video data given by the internet provider!

Many possibilities came to his mind, of which the biggest imagination was someone had hacked into his router password which he had stored in the router, two PCs and a smart phone. Lately his Samsung smart phone started behaving strangely with the sign “Yahoo cannot be started” appearing on and off. He does not use Yahoo and this alert came from nowhere. Was his phone hacked? It was a nightmarish situation, being stuck between the remains of the night and the break of dawn without the security of having an internet access. What if he needed to do something urgently using his PC? He recalled the time when his PC crashed to the floor in a third world country where they seemed to have regular power outage then, and he was forced to use his smartphone for a week to type Window Word documents for someone, straining his eyes and neck muscle working against deadline.

He waited until daybreak and rushed to the internet provider’s shop. After checking his account he was further shocked to find that he had huge unused data balances (7 GB for internet and 7 GB for the free video as a promotion from the provider) for the rest of the month. So it was a scare for nothing.

The serious thought of weaning internet comes to mind now. BTW he still hasn’t solved the mysterious appearance of the Yahoo message on his smart phone…(to be continued)

amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · writing

By the time I am sixty-eight: for young nerds

lotusI shall be_______ (fill in the blank).
What shall I be? What shall I do? where would I be?
Right now it’s hard to say exactly what I shall become as I am subject to ‘change’ which is the only ‘constant’ according to a famous management cliché at one time when the corporate world went crazy in re-engineering and re-inventing itself etc.
So what shall I say about my own future? I know this much may not change as an amateur-nerd: having the un-quenching drive, passion and expertise in the field in which I have been somewhat endowed.
Is it important to say what you will become even if you are only thirteen years old? My answer is YES. Why do I like to choose the tender age of thirteen when I give example? perhaps it’s because I happen to have readers who are thirteen or below. Besides I believe it’s a good age to start if you want to start living differently. The parents may have different views. Well, my advice to the parents is that never underestimate your children. Excuse me, they are not brats. They are junior human beings. But human beings alright.
You may aim to become a high-flying tech-guru like Bill Gates/Steve Jobs or a whoever in the world of fame and fortune of the I tech, or especially in the currently social media obsessed internet world. On the other hand, you may aim to become deliberately ancient-a good old-fashion faithful and solid educationist like my former English teacher, Ms Marple who uses a smartphone and maintains an informative blog at WordPress and Blogger. No, she is not the famous detective in the books of Agatha Christie. Alternatively, you may aim to be old time classic science fiction masters Isaac Asimov or Arthur C. Clarke or my former foreign language teacher, Monsieur P. Alas, no, he is not the M. Hercule Poirot from Agatha Christie’s books. M.P. maintains a blog on European rare archaeological finds for the few like him who choose the narrow path.I deliberately use ancient examples to illustrate a niche long-forgotten by the young today.

There are lots of opportunities and fields of interests for today’s young nerds-to-be. Too many to list here. All I can say is be aware of your surrounding and your own talents which usually come with interests like breathing. You do it naturally. You will not find stress in it except the drive to improve positively.
Read a lot. Think a lot. Write. I just read of a boy started to blog at five. He is six now. Reading others’ testimonies is one sure way to find your own pathway in the vast ocean of the internet and I tech blogging or any blogging for that matter.

amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · writing · young in heart

who are the richest bloggers? (random search results)

contents writingTo answer queries from some ‘young’ amateur nerds like me with blogging passion, here are some of the blogging sites with the highest income earning: (Caution: the following is quoted from a random search online-article dated 2014. So it’s a bit outdated. i suggest the NTK (not-tech-know) seniors who are seriously thinking of perhaps making some pocket money to supplement your retirement fund to look further and do more research online.
Here is a quote from the same random article: “With 33.9 million new blogs being created every month and over 60,328,496 blogs on sites like WordPress.com, the following blogging stars have truly emerged from the masses and have risen to the top of the blogosphere for a great many reasons. One thing they all have in common, though; none of these bloggers would have attained this level of influence and wealth if they didn’t have drive, passion and expertise in their respective niches.” (http://www.therichest.com/rich-list/world/worlds-10-top-earning-bloggers/?view=all)

http://www.slashgear.com
Ewdison Then is the co-founder and executive editor of this consumer electronic and tech news site. He also works as a media publisher for his blog within the site and as CEO of R3 Media LLC.
SlashGear is “geared” towards consumers in need of tech gadgets. In need of an iPhone 5S, tablet, iPad, or looking to get your hands on the newest, coolest touch screen? He puts tech lovers in touch with the latest news regarding all kinds of technology and gadgets. Most income comes from pay-per-click advertising. His overhead has to be incredibly small. SlashGear is also notable for being the most successful blog to utilize the WordPress platform.

http://venturebeat.com
a informative blog that covers a range of topics, not just technology, and has developed a network of technology specialized websites. VentureBeat’s scope encompasses tech as well as money, finance and investment topics, including different business techniques to earn money from your investments and aspects of the startup process.

http://lifehacker.com
Gina Trapani takes her spot as the only woman on this list of highest earning bloggers. Trapani is not only CEO and founder of the popular blog Lifehacker, but she is highly active in the social media community. Trapani’s focus on Lifehacker is to find ways to do things better, and improve the way in which one lives their life. Lifehacker encourages followers to share tips and new ideas to make everyday life easier. No wonder it’s so popular.

http://tutsplus.com
Collis Ta’eed, contributes to various famous blogs. TutsPlus is an informative site for building skills that compiles tutorials, lectures and many other teaching methods to inform readers about application software and numerous designing tools. So whether you need help with music production or have some knowledge you’d like to share and make a buck doing it, Ta’eed’s site is definitely worth a visit.

http://gothamist.com
The blog Gothamist.com makes Jake Dobkins a pretty handsome income. Gothamist is a newsy site. Its articles cover the genres of food, events, and art. The information spans the globe. Prior to becoming the publisher of Gothamist, Dobkin worked as an amateur urban photographer. Quite a turn of events for the urban artist.
Help Wanted: Gothamist Is Looking For A Full-Time Features Editor
BY GOTHAMIST IN NEWS 

http://www.timothysykes.com/blog-posts/
If you want to learn how to make lots of money Timothy Sykes’ blog is what you should be reading. It includes inspiring articles about investment, finance, stocks, and the like. Sykes is incredibly smart when it comes to stocks. He is an expert, and makes around two million dollars a month from stock operations. While some people waitress at night, Sykes writes one of the most popular, highest earning blogs in the world, and now he trains people and writes articles that help people around the world, and he makes millions doing it.

http://mashable.com
Cashmore is CEO and founder of the world famous blog Mashable, which covers anything from technology and business to social media, entertainment and lifestyle. Mashable is the largest (award winning) independent site. It is the most influential, the most read and the most popular destination for digital, social media, and technology resources and news. This generation connecting site was established in Cashmore’s bedroom in Scotland when he was only 19-years-old. Cashmere is now the youngest and almost the richest blogger in the world.

http://techcrunch.com
are you a technology news and article lover? TechCrunch is a great place to be if you are. Founder Michael Arrington has created a one stop destination for tech news. Arrington has famously become know as the “prophet of Silicon Valley.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SOME THOUGHTS FROM WORDPRESS
http://www.wpexplorer.com/make-money-with-wordpress/
Now days many people are making tons of money with WordPress. There are many different ways by which you can also earn a living online with it. Have you ever thought of making money using WordPress? If yes, this detailed post is a treat for you where I will be discussing 6 proven ways to make money with WordPress.

Creating and Selling Plugins
Develop WordPress Themes
Offer WordPress Consulting Services
Blog Setup Service
Content Writing Service
Another way of making money online is to offer content writing services. Do you have the skills to write well? Yes! Start offering WordPress content writing service. You may find WordPress content writing jobs at ProBlogger Job Board, Elance, Odesk, peopleperhour, etc. Or just visit your favorite online blogs – many have contributor application pages where you can submit your articles and get paid for them. So not only will you get some awesome backlinks from top ranking sites, but you can get paid for your hard work.
Start your Own Blog
In the online world, it is always recommended to start a blog for your business. So, what are you waiting for? Launch your own WordPress related blog and start making money. You can create a dedicated services page and offer what all you can do for your clients. Clearly mention your previous work in the portfolio, and include few testimonials. Try to engage with influential bloggers to create a thriving network around your blog to get more clients. You can also make money using affiliate marketing, selling ads, sponsored reviews, etc from your blog.

End Note
You don’t have to be a WordPress genius to make a living. If you can do any of the above and know how to sell yourself or your product you will have plenty of chances to make really good money using WordPress. Also, figure out what your targeted audience truly wants; this way you will be on the right track.

Do you have any more strategies to earn money online using WordPress? Please share them in the comment section.

amateur nerd · English perspective · social messaging journal for future · writing

social media coffee: english perspective

internet cafe
perspective
noun
1 her perspective on things had changed: outlook, view, viewpoint, point of view, POV, standpoint, position, stand, stance, angle, slant, attitude, frame of mind, frame of reference, approach, way of looking, interpretation.
2 a perspective of the whole valley: view, vista, panorama, prospect, bird’s-eye view, outlook, aspect.

Take a look at @Grammarly’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/Grammarly/status/730034721934159873?s=09

amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · writing · young in heart

return of the english ‘Q” power

old radiomy former english teacher returned with a vengeance. she read my blog during recess. so i agreed to appease her by posting another English language related blog on the power of “q” which went missing with the “e” letter on my old PC keyboard. Obviously the letter “q” is rather exclusive. The trouble is it cannot be replaced easily. For example, if i want to send out the  encouraging message to my older ntk (not-tech-know) royalist cronies that the British Queen E II can use modern tech like WhatsApp and smart phone and FaceBook etc., i can’t substitute or remove the letter “Q” from her title. Anything below the title Queen is an insult to her majesty. Besides, i can’t possibly expect my older cronies to pronounce the word “ueen” without the “Q”. The letter Q is indispensable. Just imagine words without “q” as follows:
uest, uick, uery, uestion, uite, uiet, uiz, uote, uit, uid, ueen mother, ueen’s counsel, ueen’s Speech, ueen’s Bench, and ueen’s English. i would find it uite difficult to pronounce these words and shall remain uiet or uit uickly when my former english royalist teacher is around to avoid being ueried and even fined a uid or two for my bad english.

p/s: the picture is an old social media communication channel (or a radio).

advanced nerd · amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · writing

definition of nerd

nerdMeaning of “nerd” in the English Dictionary
a person who is extremely interested in one subject, especially computers, and knows a lot of facts about it:
For example: I’m a real grammar nerd.

“nerd” in American English
a person who lacks social skills, esp. someone interested in technical things:
For example: Gina’s brother is a complete nerd.

a single-minded expert in a particular technical field.
“a computer nerd”

Think Bill Gates, on a much smaller scale.

Some interests and activities that are likely to be described as nerdy[by whom?] are:

Intellectual, academic, or technical hobbies, activities, and pursuits, especially topics related to science, mathematics, engineering, linguistics, economics, literature, sociology, geography, mythology, history, and technology.
Hobbies, games, and activities that are described as obsessive and “immature”, such as trading cards, comic books, superheroes, fantasy and science fiction novels, action figures, television programs and films, role-playing games, tabletop games, and video games.
Interest in the fine arts, non-mainstream music such as classical, progressive rock, techno, or folk music, hobbies (i.e., collecting), or other “obscure” interests.
Heavy obsession with a topic that would otherwise be mainstream (such as a popular TV show or a sport).

Quiz: Which of the above applies to the amateur-nerd of this blog?
correct answer: None of the above/some of the above/Others/you choose and fill in this blank______________.

amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · writing · young in heart

blogging doomsday survival tips

typewriterTo survive a prolonged power outage, this tk (tech-know) amateur nerd who is overtly concerned with social messaging journaling consulted a real ntk (not-tech-know) senior lady on her secret of survival all these years of living with a mere cell phone with the basic primitive functions of call and message. No internet. no social media communication like whatsapp or facebook or even email. worse, if the battery of her dumbphone runs out, how does she live? here is a list of what she does:
1. her cell phone’s battery lasts a long long time. she switches it off when she is not making a call. she reads her sms once in a while.
2. she reads when there is daylight. she sleeps when it is dark.
3. she writes long hand.
4. she talks with her social cronies face to face.
5. they do not do social messaging.
6. they still have a line phone.
7. sometimes they write real letters to each other and post them.
8. they daily meet at the grocer or dairy or newspaper booth or cafe or park or front yard or back yard of someone etc. places of convenience to chat.
9. they send errand boys or girls if available around to pass a written or verbal message.
10. they meet at church or community meeting places weekly and lady fellowship fortnightly and have pot-luck or direct sales parties monthly etc.
11. they can spell and use correct grammar.
12. on dark rainy days when they cannot read or write they merely cook or sleep or dust the house or sing or recite. Oh yes she does have an old olivetti typewriter which is working perfectly.
urgent actions for this amateur nerd: to seriously source a Corona (Smith-Corona)or Hermes or Olivetti or Olympia or Remington or RoyalUnderwood or Others. Perhaps learn to do a variety of stuff as above mentioned. Last but not least (my former english teacher will be pleased with this resolution), to learn english spelling.

amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · writing · young in heart

blogging doomsday? a pertinent question

power outageas i happily congratulate myself i am not of the very very aged or the not-teck-know (ntk) categories, i am being reminded by my not so favorite chat crony: “wait till you come to ____(fill in the name of whatever place you know/imagine with unlimited power failure), and you’ll taste the medicine.” yes, this truth hits me to the core. no amateur-nerd will want to face that situation of regular power outage and sometimes for days without end. i shudder. because i have experienced such a place such a scene such a nightmare become reality. in view of the seriousness of the topic i consulted a real aged and ntk person. she is still a non-user of any PC/Smartphone/tablet. all she has is nokia cell phone with call and messaging functions. i explained to her what the tk people may face in the power-outage future of this globe. i explained to her how the PC/Smartphone/tablet and the internet work in our daily lives. i told her the dilemma because the generations of the “PC/Smartphone/tablet and the internet” are conditioned not to think anymore. they use short-cuts and others’ brains and sort of mix and match produce their products. when the power is cut they have nothing to operate on except themselves and their own brains which have perhaps atrophied in some cases, prematurely aged. i told the frightening scene when i an amateur nerd has to carry my heavy english dictionary around and use long hand to write down stuff. my two hands shudder at this thought-signal of demanding them to write thousands of characters a day, reaches them (i am an ambidextrous person). i do consider buying a type writer. i have enquired of an un-electrical one. but they seem to have gone extinct or command an exorbitant price as if i am buying a priced antique in my sourcing market. no spell check. no grammar check. end of the writing world. what a blogging doomsday picture.

advanced nerd · amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · writing · young in heart

Question is: to tech-know or to not-tech-know?

a dog's life 2like my little dog here who refuses to follow proper english and would only wag her tail if you say, “Say Hello”, i am not complying strictly to the english spelling or grammar rules in this post as i am in a hurry. is there an age limit to understanding the computer, internet and the whole lot of modern information tech way of processing written communication between two individuals or more? i ponder this a lot lately especiaaly after reading the book of numbers by joshua cohen. i skimmed through the book as its too large and speaks of some jargons i dont have the time or bother to find out thru the internet dictionary search. the book is a goodread even for the aged. dont be put off by the internet tech jargons. of course you can always find the meaning of the terminologies online. but my question is is it that important to know the meanings of all the tech words used today by a people group whom i have classified as the “tech-know”(acronym: tk). i am not a tk even though i am not yet the aged group. to be correct, there is no such group as the aged. there is perhaps a “tk” group and a “ntk” (not-tech-know) group. however, the book is still useful and here are some quotes from goodread which coincide with my handcopied quotes as i read the book in selected perception.

“The best thing about search is you always find what you want. The worst thing about search is you never find what you do not want.” (this is about the number one internet use which has become a short-cut and replacement for our own memories and recall abilities).)

“The chips were the enablers, limited pellets of silicon that served an apparently unlimited range of functions, as like a single snackfood delivering the tastes of chocolate, vanilla, pork rind, popcorn, pretzel, and chip in every bitesized bite.” (this one is about the possibly trillions or more data/information which the computer can access through storages with huge capacity packed in minute body.)

“By the highway, the Hudson—the library books straining at their delibags, corners poking. Straining my arms, throttling my hands, the numb rewards of literacy.” (i didn’t read the passage that contained this statement. i inlcude this quote because i can relate to it.)

“The computer finally booted but could not find its modem, the modem could not find a signal and the helpscreen automatically loaded. Diagnostic scan in progress. Rotating hourglass, grains in the queue. Quit everything, restart. Quit everything, shut down, unplug, burn the house, build another house, replug, restart.” (this passage teaches how you can use your computer.)

“May through to June I spent my time deciding how to spend my time, which is the first, second, and third through nine thousand seven hundred and griftyfifth items on the agenda of every writer, or neurotic. I was getting ahead of myself, fretting whether the book would have to have notes or sources cited, fretting whether I’d be allowed to decide anything at all.” (this passage is not about computer. it’s about the way a ghost writer or copywriter feels when being commissioned to write an autobiography for someone else.)

btw: don’t be misled by joshua cohen’s book title the book of numbers. it’s about computer and not about the real Book of Numbers.

Some information on computer (book of numbers): In mathematics and digital electronics, a binary number is a number expressed in the binary numeral system or base-2 numeral system which represents numeric values using two different symbols: typically 0 (zero) and 1 (one).A computer number format is the internal representation of numeric values in digital computer and calculator hardware and software.[1] Normally, numeric values are stored as groupings of bits, named for the number of bits that compose them. The encoding between numerical values and bit patterns is chosen for convenience of the operation of the computer; the bit format used by the computer’s instruction set generally requires conversion for external use such as printing and display. Different types of processors may have different internal representations of numerical values. Different conventions are used for integer and real numbers. Most calculations are carried out with number formats that fit into a processor register, but some software systems allow representation of arbitrarily large numbers using multiple words of memory.

amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · writing

answering a message slamming crony (not batman)

BILL GATES
young Bill Gates and Paul Allen

One crony (not Batman-G. Clooney) whatsApp messaged my humble two year old samsung in the tone of phone slamming, “What do you mean by your apple macbook and all sorts of incomprehensible words?! What has that got to do with your pc internet inaccessibility?! is macbook an e-book or a laptop pc?! I heard of apple iPhone, iPad but what is this macbook you are talking about?! Stop being so incomprehensible! Use simple-precise-one-paragraph English!! Unlike you, we don’t have all day to guess what you are talking!!!” Alas, she is just as Windows-OS-PC (WOP) loyal and amateur-nerdish as I am. She was annoyed because I could not download or go to google-drive to read her rather voluminous pdf new book (which was impossible to read using my smartphone tiny screen) as I did not have internet access for two weeks through my apple MacBook after returning to my current geographical station of life. So I figure I might as well explain here once and for all for all my WOP cronies in the shortest possible paragraph I can manage. MacBook is a laptop PC developed by Apple which is a company*(see glossary below). I discovered to my horror that it would not allow my newly purchased local USB modem to operate and access the internet. I cannot return for refund and am legally bound to use it for ten months to get back the initial cash deposit. I tried all human means to no avail. Seeking technical solution was like being shuttled back and forth like a passenger lost in the largest alien airport with a plane to catch but without a clue of the location of the departure gate. Thinking back now I realize I must have been put on various chatbot** and chatted with robots instead of human. Why was I in such a predicament? Even though my new MacBook was internet-incapacitated I could have used a back-up laptop PC (the one without the ‘e’ key) or my antique-giant-sized-screen desk top to access internet. The trouble is I have left my Windows OS PC charger in US and discover that in where I am there is no equivalent charger in the market! Another mystery which I have yet to crack is that the desk top shows internet connected but cannot access. All these are true and if you (my crony) don’t believe, come and investigate. Provided you can still find a flight cheap enough to worth your while to fly across the Pacific Ocean or Atlantic, whatever. To be simple and precise, I have solved it by non-human-supernatural-way. I found a brand new Asus router lying around in my personal junk-store and locate its password in my desk-top, both of which were old gifts from someone in US, and they work! So the MacBook is now on Wi-Fi and I have downloaded the pdf book to read.

*TECHNOLOGY GLOSSARY (FOR AMATEUR NERD OR OLD-YOUNG RETIREES)

To avoid dispute whether I can use the term “technology-savvy” or queries on matters of terminologies for this blog, I might as well list the glossary for words commonly used by the amateur nerd here to settle once and for all , past, present and future queries if any on english.

glossary: an alphabetical list of terms or words found in or relating to a specific subject, text, or dialect, with explanations; a brief dictionary.

technology: the application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes.

savvy: shrewd and knowledgeable; having common sense and good judgment.

Smartphones: a cellular phone that performs many of the functions of a computer, typically having a touchscreen, Internet access, and an operating system capable of running downloaded applications.

App (short form for applications): a self-contained program or piece of software designed to fulfill a particular purpose, especially as downloaded to a mobile phone. It can also run on the Internet, on your computer, or other electronic device.

WhatsApp, Facebook messenger, Line, Hangout, Weibo: These are internet instant messaging clients for smartphones.

Instant messaging, often shortened to simply “IM” or “IMing,” is the exchange of text messages through a software application in real-time.

For example: WhatsApp Messenger is an American proprietary cross-platform instant messaging client for smartphones. It uses the Internet to send text messages, documents, images, video, user location and audio media messages to other users using standard cellular mobile numbers.

Chat: An informal conversation: The online exchange of messages in real time with one or more simultaneous users of a computer network: join me for a live online chat Wednesday at 1400 hours.

Chatbot: Short for chat robot, a internet computer program that simulates human conversation, or chat, through artificial intelligence. Typically, a chat bot will communicate with a real person, but applications are being developed in which two chat bots can communicate with each other.

Apple Inc., formerly Apple Computer, Inc., is a multinational corporation that creates consumer electronics, personal computers, servers, and computer software, and is a digital distributor of media content. Apple’s core product lines are the iPhone smart phone, iPad tablet computer, iPod portable media players, and Macintosh computer line (including my MacBook Pro).

MICROSOFT-WINDOWS: In the 1970s, we relied on typewriters. If we needed to copy a document, we likely used a mimeograph or carbon paper. In 1975, Gates and Allen formed a partnership called Microsoft, with a vision—a computer on every desktop and in every home. During the next years, Microsoft began to change the ways we work. Microsoft focused on a new operating system—the software that manages, or runs, the computer hardware and also serves to bridge the gap between the computer hardware and programs, such as a word processor. It’s the foundation on which computer programs can run.

Operating system: An operating system (also called an OS) is a piece of software that is needed to run the programs on a computer or a mobile device. The programs that run on an operating system talk to the hardware.

Software is a general term for the various kinds of programs used to operate computers and related devices. (The term hardware describes the physical aspects of computers and related devices.)

Program (Computing): A set of coded instructions that a computer can understand to solve a problem or produce a desired result. Two basic types of computer programs are (1) an operating system, which provides the most fundamental instructions a computer uses in its operations, and (2) an application program, which runs on the operating system and does a specific job such as word processing.

p/s the above list is endless as one definition warrants another one and so on. i give up here. to my crony or cronies: don’t message me. look up the definitions online. but i can assure you they are all in nerds’ linguistics.

amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · undeserved favor · writing

amateur nerd’s English experience: the power of “e”

communicateTo keep my former English teacher updated regarding the fruit of her many faithful efforts in building a people (class) with some semblance of being educated (through the learning and correct use of English language), I would talk about my Dell PC keyboard and English writing today. During my previous posting to one of the poorest countries on earth, when one of the regular power outage struck while I was cooped up in a box-size room with my PC plugged into an extension cord on a pitch-black night, my first thought was to find the portable emergency light which was somewhere near the end of the bed. I tripped and fell with the PC in a crashing fall. My head hit the corner of the bed and the poor PC fell from somewhere on a tiny coffee table near the bed and incurred damage too. After that I found someone who could repair the PC but not the keyboard. The screen cannot close properly too. Anyway I postponed changing it. My head was repaired alright. But the keyboard started to show some signs of malfunction. I discovered that some alphabets refused to  respond to my typing no matter which angle or corner and with what degree of strength I tried to tap or hit. I managed to avoid using some of them by substituting words with similar meanings. But one major alphabet which cannot be substituted effectively is the alphabet “e”. I practically used all my English vocabularies to think of replacement words without “e”. The essay or blog came out nonsensical. Good for my own laugh and nothing else. Even humor is lost without the use of words with “e”. I resorted to copy and paste to temporarily put back the “e” words. Later someone lent (and then gave) me a portable keyboard, which unfortunately has broken down by now after my long voyage home. After I was finally given a MacBook I started typing with fluency and with gratitude. All the “e”s come back and are my friends again. I cannot imagine any language without the English alphabet “e” or its equivalent. try talking without it and you will know what I mean. Here is my random list of common words (without the use of a dictionary) with the alphabet “e”.

the, we, she, he, me, they, there, english, american, european, west, east, economy, money, mother, father, friend, love, hate, dare, please, success, overcome, gentle, live, positive, esteem, especially, special, heaven, eat, taste, test, experience, examination, exercises, care, help, cater, needs, mean, define, destiny, fate, relieved, belief, useful, nice, see, smell, hear, ears, eyes, enjoy, correct, address, employment, government, toilet, where, here, seven, one, three, five, eight, nine, ten, bless, yes, saved, delivered, freed, tree, glee, flee, smile, rejoice, be, mine, redeemed, healed, divine, eternity, Amen.

Moral of the story: I cannot imagine a world without the many things we have taken for granted. Even the English alphabets or any common signs and symbols human use to communicate to one another. How did human first learn to invent this? There must be an awesome inspiration from the Creator of human (with words and sounds.) (BTW, a way to appreciate the indispensability of one alphabet to the English language is to play scrabbles and remove the “e”s. Alternatively take one paragraph anywhere and delete the “e”s and see the resultant product.)

p/s: I have used English as an example as this is an English blog.

amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · writing

amateur nerd’s one paragraph confession

since the first post i have been bombarded by social messaging left and right and some very insulting smilies too. the objection is not the contents but the audacity of me claiming to be “senior” or “advanced” nerd. so i have since changed my claim to a humbler one: “amateur nerd” and also to sub-head the blog as “amateur nerd’s social messaging journal for future” to be more honest and cover all bases. If i merely write or rant for the future, no one can foul me. good thing the retired umbrella-and-red-marking-pen-wielding English teacher is happily flying somewhere to attend important meetings on how to save the world through teaching and speaking and writing proper English without the help of spelling-checked digital devices. otherwise i would not be here typing on my mac as i would be chilling out somewhere she cannot find me. [btw (by the way in case you don’t know) i am not the thirteen year old MIA SAN MIA@ chanting European football fan (whose mom dragged to McDonald to watch world cup matches since a toddler) you fear. i have my own football ranting messaging platform (oops. now you know which is my club). ]

@”Mia San Mia” is a saying in Bavarian dialect. “Mia” comes from “Mir” which is the equivalenavatar bayernt of “Wir” in Deutsch. The pronunciation of “Mir” is actually similar to “Mia” , the “r” is pronounced like an “a”. So “Mia San Mia” is ” Wir sind Wir” in German which literally translates to “We are We”.

amateur nerd · social messaging journal for future · undeserved favor · writing · young in heart

WHEN I AM SIXTY-EIGHT

wheniamsixtyeightI never thought I would one day reach this age, at least not so soon. It seems I have only taken a short walk. but now i suddenly arrive at this junction and find that i cannot reverse or turn back. my hair has turned snowy white beside my right temple overnight. Looking back at the 68 years it was like a mere sigh in the night, just as the psalmist has discovered three thousand years ago.

Earth man tends to think of time within our known world and indeed it’s framed in a rather short span for each living creature. No matter how much each man tries to stretch his span, perhaps by a few years or even ten or more, still it does not count much in terms of the actual span of existence planned for each soul in the eternity of God.

Suddenly I have to answer some pertinent questions, who am I and what shall I become in the remains of my days on earth? How shall I live my remaining numbered days until I cross over to the unnumbered days of eternity?

Today is my last day of 67th and a question came while I was walking on the treadmill, what shall I leave behind to my successors if any? A very young one recently DECLARED in the family group WhatsApp chat that she was ANGRY for not having a TV to watch her favorite football team playing, “AND EVERYONE IS LIKE/SLOWLY DYING//” (referring to her ‘aging’ football icons who have announced their forthcoming retirements one by one). She is worried that they are growing old too soon and she would not have good football to watch when she grows up, the younger generation being what they are today, she aptly judged.  Even a thirteen-year-old worries about human icons growing too old to play football one day and perhaps even dying. This one certainly knows what good football should be like. The other day she lamented that she was born too late and that she should have been in her mother’s generation because she had missed out watching such quality football and now all she has are leftovers and the players are growing old.

Coming back to my own growing old. What am I doing here typing away on my 2016 MacBook using the latest Window Office Word program? I was almost asleep just now but a notification of a mobile phone message woke me and now I am wide awake. I just look at the time and it’s 12:45am. So I am officially really chronologically 68.

Why do I use Office Word when I can use my MacBook Pages? Why did I insist on installing the Word program on my present and first MacBook two months ago? But I have been a user of Word since its coming to being. How could I suddenly stop? After I received my Mac I learned every relevant function like a typical teenager would do if he had received such a generous gift! I use the mac daily now. but I miss my pc that runs on Widow OS. Somehow I still miss the old (about two-year-old) laptop and the faithful days she has served me mainly in processing my writing hobby. Pity she fell to the floor and hit her head badly during a power failure in one of the poorest countries in the world when I tripped over the extension cord in the dark. Now the “e” refuses to budge. I had to copy ‘e’ from somewhere and paste onto my writing. Quite a task until I got my Mac.

What an interesting or boring topic I am ranting right now. Lately someone in the chat group prompted all of us to update our WhatsApp so our chats, videos, photos etc. will be encrypted end to end. Otherwise someone else can access and eavesdrop. That started a panic and everyone of us updated. Then something strange happened. When I wanted to use WhatsApp google drive prompted me to backup and giving me the options of frequencies only (daily, weekly, or monthly). There was no other option. So I clicked monthly. Another strange thing happened. WhatsApp wanted to access my google drive. I could not access WhatsApp until I acceded to its request (demand). What was I to do? So I emailed my family chat group old and young near and far. I informed them to start using Facebook messenger to reach me if any. I also took action into my own hand by deleting all my google drive data. One of my contemporary told me she uninstalled WhatsApp from all her phones. She then reinstalled in one phone dedicated to WhatsApp only! while I was getting ready to go out and get another phone for WhatsApp only someone from a younger generation emailed and gave me and the group sensible advice and urged us not to panic. His advice calmed me (us) down. And now I am using the same old WhatsApp again without doing the drastic move of getting a dedicated WhatsApp mobile phone. However, since two members did not update their WhatsApp in time so I went ahead and deleted them so our chats could be encrypted from end to end. Later they updated and rejoined. Now my headache is one closest buddy refuses to update her WhatsApp. So my messages to her are reduced to minimal and in my own codes. (She has since refused to read my coded messages or chats).

This blog is free flow and refuses to follow any spelling, grammar or any other forms of English language rules. So my retired English teacher neighbor blocks away must not read and try to correct by WhatsApping or FaceBookmessaging or Hangouting or Twittering or Weiboing or Lining or whatever modern social messaging Apping me please. Don’t attempt to come with your umbrella and check if I happen to venture into my garden and give me a whack on the head too. My faithful dog gracie can spot your scooter from a km off. She is smart, you know, having a smart owner. She knows a variety of languages too due to the in and out of guests in my humble abode. Of course her mother tongue is English.

Well that’s enough ranting from an up-to-date and futurist sixty-eight. What a way to start a new year.

p/s: someone just called and queried whether this one was written by the youngest member of the chat group (the thirteen year old football fan).