women’s internet club: The Millennial Influencers Squad* (start-up session)

millennial slangs

The things that I do for internet marketing! And all for my English Lord boss. Admittedly he pays well. 

“Freeze! Nobody move! You are surrounded!” That is the last thing I hear before I realize someone is behind me and a gigantic shadow looms over me. That is how my dog Gracie and I end up being held hostage by the six young women named Pyra 1-6 from M16 Influencers Training Inc at the Dronesville park. In line with social distancing, someone uses a long plank to poke at us from the back and makes us move forward toward the direction of the former “hyperloopy” lab now deserted due to the year long locked down order. It is like the worst of movies of a somewhat shell-shocked nerd-to-be and an innocent nerdy mascot talking dog. “No talking!” The command is issued and we duly obey, not knowing what this group named M16 is likely to do next.

The building is not locked or has its door been opened by a remote control? Anyway we settle in a spacious and clean meeting hall. I am made to sit down at the far end of a very long conference table while Gracies is allowed to wait at a corner with her muzzle-mask still on. The women sit at the other end of the table, all wearing full-facial masks. Here is an excerpt (sample) of our conversation. P stands for P1-P6. Jr. stands for me, junior to my dad the senior nerd IJ.

P: As per our phone conversation previously, we are the new members of the Women’s Internet Club. You may describe us as the Millennial Influencers Squad* (In millennial language: it means a group of friends). Have you brought the application forms? Junior?

Jr: Yes, here they are. (Handing over the transparent folder of blank forms)

P: (speaks after a lapse of seconds of silence) What kind of ridiculous forms is this? Requiring my particulars about whether I own a pet (e.g. a dog) and whether the pet (dog) will be a participant on zoom meetings? I object to answering this privacy infringing question!

Jr: It is a compulsory question, miss.

P: Why?! Your justification has better be good! (All the other Ps clap in unison)

Jr: You see, miss, it’s a matter of logistics.

P: OK, if I answer yes, I have a bull dog, and yes, she is joining the zoom class. Is there any difference from saying no?

Jr: The difference will be the charges. We will count as two persons attending.

P: (All burst into laughters) Bruh? (meaning seriously) Aren’t you extra (over the top, dramatic behavior)? (This one talks millennial slang words)

Jr: Serious. Consider the extra efforts we have to make to accommodate a person with a pet (dog). Of course you may opt out for the pet. Put them in another room, or muzzle them and chain them up or whatever so they would not disrupt the classes.

P: (all burst into a thundering uproar until one manages to speak) mister! I am shook (confused or in utter disbelief) at the way that you throw shade (making a subtly mean comment about someone) on our pets!

Jr: My apology, miss. The crux of the matter is that we will count your pet as an individual paid participant and give the same treatment as we give you. ISN’T THAT POSITIVE?

P: Would we be given a separate session apart from the senior women’s club? I understand that there are twenty of them and all with their pets.

Jr: We can’t afford to do that at the v (very) nominal fee we are charging, miss. Shall we give it a try mixing with the existing group, who have some bougies (from higher class), and who is more like fam (a group of friends who feels more like family) first and see how we may develop?

P: (After completed the forms and paying up their fees) TBH (to be honest), we are here for an important purpose. We have no option.

Jr: Thank you for your honesty. May I be so bold to know what M16 stands for?

P: Anything you may imagine. This conversation is hereby canceled (To reject something because it’s no longer trendy or it’s become too ratchet.) You two may go now. See you at the next Internet Club meeting. Any advice on how we may present ourselves in the zoom?

Jr: Just EXPECT the GOAT (Greatest of all time), BE SNATCHED (attractive), and not Beat (to have a full face of makeup)! We are going live on a popular social media at the same time!

P: Dank! (really cool)

(To be continued)

Junior nerd, 2021-01-18

Understand millennial terminology (random)

millennial, meme, internet, terminology
  1. “Xennials”

Older millennials got tired of being called millennials, so they invented a new name for themselves. If you were born between 1977 and 1983 and don’t feel like you belong in either Generation X or millennials, you’re an xennial.

  • “Fire” (as an adjective)

“Those throw-back Jordans are fire.” No, not on fire. Not fired up. Just simply, fire.

  • “Sus”

Someone is acting shady or suspicious, and you want to say as much, but then you remember how millennials feel about vowels, and suspicious has like thirteen vowels or something, so you just say “sus” and hope whoever you’re talking/texting/or tweeting to can fill in the blanks.

  • “I can’t even”

You can’t even what? It doesn’t matter. It could be something specific, it could be reality in general. The point is, the world has gone insane, and we can’t even.

  • “Because duh”

Exclamation points are so needy. If you really want to express how something you’ve just said IS SO TOTALLY TRUE, just end it with the quantifier “because duh.” It works every time. “I would absolutely spend the weekend in a hottub with Scarlett Johansson, because duh.” “YAAAAAS”

  • yaaasss

When just saying “yes” isn’t enough. “Yes” is just a calm agreement or an affirmative response, but “YAAAAAS” suggests a frenzied intensity that really drives the point home.

  • “Slay”

Not in the knight and dragon sense; you’re not slaying any fire-breathing beasts to save a princess. To “slay” in the millennial sense means to do an exemplary job.

  • “Adulting”

All the boring crap that grownups do. If you’re slogging to work and paying your mortgage and cooking your dinners and ironing your own clothes, you’re in the adulting world now. It sucks sometimes, but it’s a reality for all big boys and girls. Yes, even millennials.

(Source: internet)

Dronesville football club #1: He starts over a new dream

This virtual football gold field bonanza futuristic adventure journal from a young bounty-hunter cum would-be-nerd suddenly came alive and came into my top list.

millennials, internet, media school, online business tips

dronesville football club“No man runs the race until he sees the dream.” (Fred C. White). I, the Dronesville’s nerd dream of running a race, well, not exactly. It is like I am chasing an invisible football and hear this remark from an audience who seems to sit high up. I look up and see the football in the sky! Before I have a better Peek into the other arena I wake with the MacBook screen glaring at me. On it there is a gigantic football. What am I supposed to be doing? No, I am not the player. I am just updating the website for the Dronesville Retirees’ Virtual Football Club.

Since the teacher-retiree-residents start practicing their wealth of combined knowledge through modern tech-know skills online they have been fascinated with the seemingly limitless creative ways to compensate virtually for what they lack in the physical world. One of the programs they…

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Dronesville football club #8: my illusive senior nerd turned Indy dad

swiss knifeIf your long lost dad dressed like a Tuareg Indiana Jones suddenly appears in the middle of nowhere how will you react? The tea ceremony is like a fail-proof neighborly ritual between ancient desert tribal chiefs from the movie. I won’t go into details. But the two french actors/actresses conduct the ceremony and exchange polite greetings perfectly in vernacular language beyond this millennial. I play my role as the dumb servant superbly. How do they look? The horsemen? Well, brilliant blue and dazzling white. I would not lower myself to even give a glance their direction of course. Weapons? O, certainly, long knives and guns. So you see, minding my business is the best strategy. One thing we millennials do well is to stay cool and composed even when cold sweat oozes out from every pore.

I hope the horsemen will leave soon but I don’t expect the next scene. One Tuareg horseman lingers behind. He is the one with the long knife and carries a whip. And he walks toward me. He speaks perfect British English! “Look what we have here? You are no Tuareg.” He leans over.

Then he whispers, “you foolish boy, who do you think you are trying to fool?” He knows who I am! “Get out of this war zone immediately. NOW! Get the two German girls to start scrambling for safety!”

It just has to be my dad. The long absented senior nerd turned treasure hunter in South America. He has spotted me because of the minuscule mole on my left eyebrow! But why does he call them German and not French? He reads my mind and clarifies, “French-German.” Pulling me up from the ground he barks, “NOW! follow me!” I sprint like I am seven year old again and explain to the girls it’s my dad and we can trust him to get out of danger. Surprisingly they nod in unison and follow. He brings over two spare horses. The two girls ride on one and I ride with the kid and the goat.

Later when this journey is over and my dad has left I ask the two girls why they agree to follow without hesitation. The librarian laughs, “Why not? We love the Indy Jones movies!” LOL. How dumb can I be.

But why has my dad appeared at the right time? He is a treasure hunter of a higher level. Is he after the same football-field-size gold? What is he doing with the heavily armed Tuareg horsemen? Why is he dressed like a Tuareg Indiana Jones? There is no way I can find out as he quickly rides off into the glorious orange sunset with his horsemen as soon as we reach a highway.

The highway is safe? So we are told. It is empty. No vehicle. No traveler. Just orange dust. Anyway my robot gives me the same instruction to go this way. By now we need to drastically lose weight. I mean I need to drastically lose the weight of my overbearing load. I have two options, the Gen Z kid or the goat. I cannot dump the brat/kid. (What with her amazon aunt towering over me watching like a buzzard). So I decide to dump the goat or eat it. I can no longer swallow another mouthful of the bland meatless concoction the girls has been spooning out without expecting my head to sprout cabbages in another 48 hours anyway.

The snooty anthropologist asks, “How, may I ask, sir, are you going to kill this royal goat and cook it?” The Gen Z kid raises her hand and volunteers cooly, “Easy. Ma’am. I will do the slaughtering.” The librarian (her aunt) rolls her eyes and snorts, “O, no, you certainly won’t!”

“Piece of cake,” I say to myself. As I want to maintain my stature as an able independent survivor if marooned in the desert, I google and find about 50 ways to kill a possibly already dead goat and cook it. Alas, I have to eliminate nearly all because I do not have the equipments or ingredients in this no-man-land. Finally I decide to forget about the googled information and just do it my way.

As I lift up my Weathered Leatherman Portland Oregon knife (survival tool), an unearthly shriek pierces through the still air and all the hair on the back of my neck stand on end…(to be continued)

Laid Off at 60: What to Do Next – Next Avenue

I searched and found this lnk because i happened to watch a video clip interview of a woman who looks forty but ages sixty n wants to do something with her still youthful life. She is an interior decorator. Very positive and talented Christian woman. She talks about ageism from employers. My friends and I have recently noted and discussed the dilemma of youth: lack in sudden important living skills and inner strength in the current youth. I mean those in the range of 11-21 compared to the generations before them. The topic is too deep n wide to discuss in a short message by my mobile phone here. I shall write in more depth when my pc internet is restored in June. Meanwhile here is the link I found by random search of key words.
http://www.nextavenue.org/laid-60-what-do-next/

definition of nerd

nerdMeaning of “nerd” in the English Dictionary
a person who is extremely interested in one subject, especially computers, and knows a lot of facts about it:
For example: I’m a real grammar nerd.

“nerd” in American English
a person who lacks social skills, esp. someone interested in technical things:
For example: Gina’s brother is a complete nerd.

a single-minded expert in a particular technical field.
“a computer nerd”

Think Bill Gates, on a much smaller scale.

Some interests and activities that are likely to be described as nerdy[by whom?] are:

Intellectual, academic, or technical hobbies, activities, and pursuits, especially topics related to science, mathematics, engineering, linguistics, economics, literature, sociology, geography, mythology, history, and technology.
Hobbies, games, and activities that are described as obsessive and “immature”, such as trading cards, comic books, superheroes, fantasy and science fiction novels, action figures, television programs and films, role-playing games, tabletop games, and video games.
Interest in the fine arts, non-mainstream music such as classical, progressive rock, techno, or folk music, hobbies (i.e., collecting), or other “obscure” interests.
Heavy obsession with a topic that would otherwise be mainstream (such as a popular TV show or a sport).

Quiz: Which of the above applies to the amateur-nerd of this blog?
correct answer: None of the above/some of the above/Others/you choose and fill in this blank______________.

Question is: to tech-know or to not-tech-know?

a dog's life 2like my little dog here who refuses to follow proper english and would only wag her tail if you say, “Say Hello”, i am not complying strictly to the english spelling or grammar rules in this post as i am in a hurry. is there an age limit to understanding the computer, internet and the whole lot of modern information tech way of processing written communication between two individuals or more? i ponder this a lot lately especiaaly after reading the book of numbers by joshua cohen. i skimmed through the book as its too large and speaks of some jargons i dont have the time or bother to find out thru the internet dictionary search. the book is a goodread even for the aged. dont be put off by the internet tech jargons. of course you can always find the meaning of the terminologies online. but my question is is it that important to know the meanings of all the tech words used today by a people group whom i have classified as the “tech-know”(acronym: tk). i am not a tk even though i am not yet the aged group. to be correct, there is no such group as the aged. there is perhaps a “tk” group and a “ntk” (not-tech-know) group. however, the book is still useful and here are some quotes from goodread which coincide with my handcopied quotes as i read the book in selected perception.

“The best thing about search is you always find what you want. The worst thing about search is you never find what you do not want.” (this is about the number one internet use which has become a short-cut and replacement for our own memories and recall abilities).)

“The chips were the enablers, limited pellets of silicon that served an apparently unlimited range of functions, as like a single snackfood delivering the tastes of chocolate, vanilla, pork rind, popcorn, pretzel, and chip in every bitesized bite.” (this one is about the possibly trillions or more data/information which the computer can access through storages with huge capacity packed in minute body.)

“By the highway, the Hudson—the library books straining at their delibags, corners poking. Straining my arms, throttling my hands, the numb rewards of literacy.” (i didn’t read the passage that contained this statement. i inlcude this quote because i can relate to it.)

“The computer finally booted but could not find its modem, the modem could not find a signal and the helpscreen automatically loaded. Diagnostic scan in progress. Rotating hourglass, grains in the queue. Quit everything, restart. Quit everything, shut down, unplug, burn the house, build another house, replug, restart.” (this passage teaches how you can use your computer.)

“May through to June I spent my time deciding how to spend my time, which is the first, second, and third through nine thousand seven hundred and griftyfifth items on the agenda of every writer, or neurotic. I was getting ahead of myself, fretting whether the book would have to have notes or sources cited, fretting whether I’d be allowed to decide anything at all.” (this passage is not about computer. it’s about the way a ghost writer or copywriter feels when being commissioned to write an autobiography for someone else.)

btw: don’t be misled by joshua cohen’s book title the book of numbers. it’s about computer and not about the real Book of Numbers.

Some information on computer (book of numbers): In mathematics and digital electronics, a binary number is a number expressed in the binary numeral system or base-2 numeral system which represents numeric values using two different symbols: typically 0 (zero) and 1 (one).A computer number format is the internal representation of numeric values in digital computer and calculator hardware and software.[1] Normally, numeric values are stored as groupings of bits, named for the number of bits that compose them. The encoding between numerical values and bit patterns is chosen for convenience of the operation of the computer; the bit format used by the computer’s instruction set generally requires conversion for external use such as printing and display. Different types of processors may have different internal representations of numerical values. Different conventions are used for integer and real numbers. Most calculations are carried out with number formats that fit into a processor register, but some software systems allow representation of arbitrarily large numbers using multiple words of memory.