amateur nerd · millennial short-story · writing · young in heart

Unstoppable treasure hunt (Dronexit#14)

dronexit14 bird head“Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French.” I copy this famous first line from PG Wodehouse’s “The Luck of the Bodkins”.

What can be more humiliating for a nerd than to be cornered and exposed? The worst thing is that no one will bail me out anyway if I should get into big trouble. “Teach you a lesson.” Most of the extended family members will say. I should have stayed French instead of wanting to be British. Maybe I would have had better luck. The family did not think high of me because I flung my college and went to Belgium. After an apprenticeship in the diamond trade I was given the boot. I joined the Roman legionarius (stuntmen of course) and was again given a discharge (not so honorary) at the end of my contract. Then I was employed by the King Solomon’s Treasure Hunt top secret project with a group of high-tech nerds. We went all over three large continents living in constant stress and treacherous conditions over a period of three years. That was how I got burn out and had to return home for a break. No, I am not a criminal as insinuated by the two crooks. It’s just that I cannot talk about my real assignment with anyone, not even family. I cannot get involved with the law. I have pledged secrecy in exchange for very high stake.

I now realize I don’t have the steely cool nerve and hawk-like alertness of 007 Bond. On the other hand, with luck I could cope as good as Johnny England. Since I am committed to such a confidential matter why do I bother to entertain the group of senior nerds? Well, I ask the same question too. Why do school kids do their homework? Because the teachers ask them to. I know this is not a good answer. But it just has to make do for now. I have more important thing to think over.

What were the wrong turns I made in my life?
1. choosing a career that calls for fictitious movie or best sellers’ characters like 007 James Bond, Ethan Hunt, Jason Bourne, or Indiana Jones.
2. coming home to Dronesville thinking that I can chill out here in peace and quiet hibernating in the midst of an ancient community.
3. making the assumption that no one here will be high tech enough to know that I am using my Plan-B robot.
4. worst of all, making the assumption that the senior retirees in this community will never be interested in technology and will definitely leave me in peace.

You ask, if I am that poor or sub-standard why do my Treasure Hunt employers employ me? Good question. I ask the same too. So there. No answer for you. What? You don’t like this blog because it doesn’t give away the answer? Okay. The answer is obvious. I can smell treasure. I am more accurate than any advanced tech gadget.

And I have a Plan-C. I am unstoppable. LOL. (To be continued)

p/s the picture shows how a cluttered nerd mind looks like.

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