I am not a hero. A piercing shriek followed by pathetic sounds of whimper in my front yard shatter my fragile peace. Shaken from chilling out on the lounge chair nursing my bundle of nerves by watching Mr.Beans, recovering from the disastrous news of my beloved nation opting to become number two again like the TB safely behind GB, now repeating history to have a MT2 behind EURO power woman AM, I venture to stir myself from hibernation.
Stealthily I creep to the curtain of my French window and peep through a minuscule space. what I see makes sense. No wonder my poor dog “Gracie” is whimpering, hiding herself in her makeshift storm shelter behind a thick sheet of indestructible plastic canvas.
A UK PM MT#2 complete with hairdo, hair color and makeup etc, but with the newest number ten wannabe smart Euro-suit dressing and German AM accent is shrieking at Gracie. I am not surprised that the social media drone has done its work and finally forces its presence at my front gate. I am not worried because I am prepared for this day.
“xxx!” She cries. “Open this gate and stop that politically incorrect person (meaning Gracie)!” It is the voice of my former English teacher! She is normally quite unflustered but today she seems a wee bit off her usual healthy wholesome outdoor English provincial farm mother colour.
She hurries into the house and hands me a IPAD size box labelled DRONEXIT#1. “Here you are, guard with your life!” She starts her monologue. “You know, I am quite politically correct now. I just told my old mother that I will henceforth call her in an ancient Chinese term, Niang (for mom), which no English politically-correct person can ever guess. God (oops, I mean X) bless her. I also WhatsApp all my children to warn them not to associate with me in public, and call me Niang in private (beware of social media drones). I have registered myself as a resident in London City, Paris, Hamburg, Milan, San Francisco and Shanghai and to be precise I am now cosmopolitan and not provincial! LOL!”
Then she rolls her eyes with a tinge of sadness, “But I do miss being a mother and a provincial wife who happily makes shepherd’s pies for her sons!”
“Above all,” she whispers, “I miss calling God “God”” She has tears in her eyes. “I just have to make do with the substitute “X”. I asked Him for His forgiveness.” Then she breaks out into a full blast of weeping and lamenting in my sitting room. The thick white rice cake on her cheeks starts melting and she gradually looks more like my good old provincial English teacher whom we ex-pupils still love much in reverence for the godly values she drummed into our young and stubborn heads.
I cannot help but budge in as I focus my worries on her box. “What is inside this box?” I am not to be caught with anything with a hint of motherhood or being provincial. I can imagine the day when I wake up and find a social media drone hovering at my bedroom window taking snapshots so some social media (all the politically-correct ruling newspapers and internet/mobile social media and connect platforms) guru will have a field day with my secret life as a naturally born citizen of this nation. Of course, I am fully aware that the majority of this nation are silent as they are not tech-know. The silent majority who are provincial and mother-respecting cannot help me against the drone invasion.
She suddenly looks at her watch and exclaims, “O dear, I forgot that I have an appointment!” She practically speaks in exclamation. “I have enrolled in the German class. You never know what will happen to English language. I am patriotic but I need to camouflage and fortify myself for future since I cannot keep my English identity. You too, young person! (She is careful in using words with no gender connotation now. My former English teacher is a fast learner. I will vote for her if she ever runs for government…sigh.)
When I sink into my couch and start examining the box labelled DRONEXIT#1, I cannot help but think of two great books written by two famous English writers: BRAVE NEW WORLD, and THE CHILDREN OF MAN.
Quotes from Wikipedia
Brave New World is a novel written in 1931 by Aldous Huxley and published in 1932. Set in London in the year AD 2540 (632 A.F.—”After Ford”—in the book), the novel anticipates developments in reproductive technology, sleep-learning, psychological manipulation, and classical conditioning that combine profoundly to change society.
The Children of Men is a dystopian novel by P.D. James that was published in 1992. Set in England in 2021, it centres on the results of mass infertility. James describes a United Kingdom that is steadily depopulating and focuses on a small group of resisters who do not share the disillusionment of the masses.