English blogging, MacBook and cavemen

the-emergence-of-language-cave-woman-we-need-to-talk-caveman-uh-oh-new-yorker-cartoonMy former English teacher struck again. “It’s time you write something decent! Otherwise I will come to your place and give you some timely guidance.” She called from the airport terminal, newly disembarked from a plane from Timbuktu, threatening to come to my hideout and create havoc with my prized new Apple MacBook Pro. What can a chap do caught under such emergency circumstances when you cannot possibly lie or cheat or blame or plead innocent before a pair of vision 20/20 see-all eyes whose cataract-infested lenses had recently been removed and replaced by German-made 100% guaranteed for lifetime lenses?

No, I am not allowing myself to be made a sitting duck target waiting for the impending disastrous bombshell to land right on my head/PC. Notwithstanding I do not have Jeeves the smartest valet in all British land with me right now, I have memorized pretty much of Wooster’s preposterous antics and Jeeves’ wise moves which deflected practically countless calamity-prone balloons of ill-fate that Wooster had been torpedoed. So here I am after a lapse of time in which I was happily cruising along the white coast of some exotic island in Pacific. I am writing an English blog just as I promised my former English teacher who is now on a cab speeding home to check her internet.

So I just dig out the following half finished draft and shall continue with resoluteness and fortitude.

My dissertation is brief and simple. What is a blog? A blog originally came from the word “weblog” or a “web log”. You can think of it as an online journal or diary, although blogs are used for much more now, like online journalism. A blogger is someone who blogs, or writes content for a blog. Blogging is the act of writing a post for a blog. To write a blog you need a Web site on which you can publish it.

You need a PC or a mobile phone to blog and internet to connect you to the web site where you blog. For those who blog in English, you do not need to be perfect in English. The blog site usually has spell-check function. You can of course stick to your individuality and blog without checking your spelling or grammar unless (like me) you have a former English teacher who happens to be your neighbor too! I have previously thought that I could just breathe easy with this particular semi-tech-know blog but she has caught up too in intensive night school on how to become technology-savvy. I can accept that. But she insists on reading blogs (a=including mine) and checking for English accuracy. I cannot handle this.

For that matter I have not turned on the sticky tag functionality for my blogs. You never know what remarks you may get for making a spelling or grammatical slip of the tongue/pen so to speak. The spell-check function does not know what you want to say so it can give a word with proper spelling but entirely irrelevant and/or irreverent meaning. To be on the safe side, I use very short sentences and short words too. Refrain from using the Urban dictionary or similar references as the words or phrases may be incomprehensible to the older generations. Indeed every generation evolves its own words and terms. I personally keep abreast with English that facilitates communication with all sorts of generations. I do like the bombastic long words used in the Jeeves’ and similar era. It’s a pity technology has somehow reduced human capacity to remember and spell long words and the willingness to learn them in the first place.

Sometimes I do wonder whether some or most words will become extinct like the dinosaur. I try to imagine the future museum of extinct words and shudder. What with the future cavemen visitors grunting one or two syllable sounds as they try to communicate with each other since human would have devolved to using basic sounds devoid of words by then. Bloggers too may become extinct when devoid of words.

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