answering a message slamming crony (not batman)

BILL GATES
young Bill Gates and Paul Allen

One crony (not Batman-G. Clooney) whatsApp messaged my humble two year old samsung in the tone of phone slamming, “What do you mean by your apple macbook and all sorts of incomprehensible words?! What has that got to do with your pc internet inaccessibility?! is macbook an e-book or a laptop pc?! I heard of apple iPhone, iPad but what is this macbook you are talking about?! Stop being so incomprehensible! Use simple-precise-one-paragraph English!! Unlike you, we don’t have all day to guess what you are talking!!!” Alas, she is just as Windows-OS-PC (WOP) loyal and amateur-nerdish as I am. She was annoyed because I could not download or go to google-drive to read her rather voluminous pdf new book (which was impossible to read using my smartphone tiny screen) as I did not have internet access for two weeks through my apple MacBook after returning to my current geographical station of life. So I figure I might as well explain here once and for all for all my WOP cronies in the shortest possible paragraph I can manage. MacBook is a laptop PC developed by Apple which is a company*(see glossary below). I discovered to my horror that it would not allow my newly purchased local USB modem to operate and access the internet. I cannot return for refund and am legally bound to use it for ten months to get back the initial cash deposit. I tried all human means to no avail. Seeking technical solution was like being shuttled back and forth like a passenger lost in the largest alien airport with a plane to catch but without a clue of the location of the departure gate. Thinking back now I realize I must have been put on various chatbot** and chatted with robots instead of human. Why was I in such a predicament? Even though my new MacBook was internet-incapacitated I could have used a back-up laptop PC (the one without the ‘e’ key) or my antique-giant-sized-screen desk top to access internet. The trouble is I have left my Windows OS PC charger in US and discover that in where I am there is no equivalent charger in the market! Another mystery which I have yet to crack is that the desk top shows internet connected but cannot access. All these are true and if you (my crony) don’t believe, come and investigate. Provided you can still find a flight cheap enough to worth your while to fly across the Pacific Ocean or Atlantic, whatever. To be simple and precise, I have solved it by non-human-supernatural-way. I found a brand new Asus router lying around in my personal junk-store and locate its password in my desk-top, both of which were old gifts from someone in US, and they work! So the MacBook is now on Wi-Fi and I have downloaded the pdf book to read.

*TECHNOLOGY GLOSSARY (FOR AMATEUR NERD OR OLD-YOUNG RETIREES)

To avoid dispute whether I can use the term “technology-savvy” or queries on matters of terminologies for this blog, I might as well list the glossary for words commonly used by the amateur nerd here to settle once and for all , past, present and future queries if any on english.

glossary: an alphabetical list of terms or words found in or relating to a specific subject, text, or dialect, with explanations; a brief dictionary.

technology: the application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes.

savvy: shrewd and knowledgeable; having common sense and good judgment.

Smartphones: a cellular phone that performs many of the functions of a computer, typically having a touchscreen, Internet access, and an operating system capable of running downloaded applications.

App (short form for applications): a self-contained program or piece of software designed to fulfill a particular purpose, especially as downloaded to a mobile phone. It can also run on the Internet, on your computer, or other electronic device.

WhatsApp, Facebook messenger, Line, Hangout, Weibo: These are internet instant messaging clients for smartphones.

Instant messaging, often shortened to simply “IM” or “IMing,” is the exchange of text messages through a software application in real-time.

For example: WhatsApp Messenger is an American proprietary cross-platform instant messaging client for smartphones. It uses the Internet to send text messages, documents, images, video, user location and audio media messages to other users using standard cellular mobile numbers.

Chat: An informal conversation: The online exchange of messages in real time with one or more simultaneous users of a computer network: join me for a live online chat Wednesday at 1400 hours.

Chatbot: Short for chat robot, a internet computer program that simulates human conversation, or chat, through artificial intelligence. Typically, a chat bot will communicate with a real person, but applications are being developed in which two chat bots can communicate with each other.

Apple Inc., formerly Apple Computer, Inc., is a multinational corporation that creates consumer electronics, personal computers, servers, and computer software, and is a digital distributor of media content. Apple’s core product lines are the iPhone smart phone, iPad tablet computer, iPod portable media players, and Macintosh computer line (including my MacBook Pro).

MICROSOFT-WINDOWS: In the 1970s, we relied on typewriters. If we needed to copy a document, we likely used a mimeograph or carbon paper. In 1975, Gates and Allen formed a partnership called Microsoft, with a vision—a computer on every desktop and in every home. During the next years, Microsoft began to change the ways we work. Microsoft focused on a new operating system—the software that manages, or runs, the computer hardware and also serves to bridge the gap between the computer hardware and programs, such as a word processor. It’s the foundation on which computer programs can run.

Operating system: An operating system (also called an OS) is a piece of software that is needed to run the programs on a computer or a mobile device. The programs that run on an operating system talk to the hardware.

Software is a general term for the various kinds of programs used to operate computers and related devices. (The term hardware describes the physical aspects of computers and related devices.)

Program (Computing): A set of coded instructions that a computer can understand to solve a problem or produce a desired result. Two basic types of computer programs are (1) an operating system, which provides the most fundamental instructions a computer uses in its operations, and (2) an application program, which runs on the operating system and does a specific job such as word processing.

p/s the above list is endless as one definition warrants another one and so on. i give up here. to my crony or cronies: don’t message me. look up the definitions online. but i can assure you they are all in nerds’ linguistics.

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